And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Ah, the Gaussians.  The Gaussians are indeed a more advanced
} civilization than that of humanity's on Earth, at least from a
} culinary perspective.  They are, in fact, the most sought after chefs
} in the galaxy.
} 
} So, you'd assume Earth scientists are looking for a really good cheese
} omelette or steak, right?  Far from it.  It turns out most SETI
} projects are funded by a secret cartel of leading fast food chains
} known as Her Majesty's Big Red Shoes.  (As you can tell, the name
} comes from the three biggest hamburger chains, who are the largest
} contributors to the cartel.)
} 
} You might wonder just why the fast food industry is so worried.
} Surely Gaussians' meals are infinitely better than the fat-laden,
} hormone-injected, chopped meat served between two pieces of bread
} made of grain stripped of all nutritional value those places serve,
} right?  And they must cost proportionally more as well?  Unfortunately
} for Her Majesty's Big Red Shoes, the answers are, respectively, yes
} and no.
} 
} You see, supplicant, the old Earth business adage of "cheap, good,
} fast; pick two" does not apply to the Gaussians.  They have, through
} the millennia of refining their cooking techniques, managed to achieve
} all three, the antithesis of Earth's fast food industry, who rarely
} manage to achieve one of the three!  Now you see why Her Majesty's Big
} Red Shoes is so hot to find them.  They plan to steal or buy the
} Gaussians' secrets if at all possible.  (And if they'd just ask me,
} I'd tell them it's not.  At least not for them, poor, cosmically
} unremarkable beings that they are.)  Failing that, they will launch
} their fleet of restaurants they've been building in secret for the
} last few decades to destroy them.  (Again, they're not likely to
} succeed.)
} 
} Yes, I said "fleet of restaurants."  How else do you think you build a
} fleet of spaceships without anyone noticing?  Why do you think you
} see fast food restaurants everywhere you look?  Each restaurant is
} actually a sophisticated starship built using the secrets taken from
} Area 51.  (How Her Majesty's Big Red Shoes got ahold of those is a
} whole other story and the Oracle's time as this incarnation is rapidly
} running out.)  I admit, they've done an incredible job of camouflage
} on them.  Of course, just the horrible state of the bathrooms is
} enough to throw most people off the trail.  Anyway, now that *you*
} finally know the secret about the search for the Gaussians,
} supplicant, I'm sure the world will begin to make a bit more sense to
} you.
} 
} You owe the Oracle the Gaussians' secret sauce recipe.