Mose Moots' Barber Shop
|IF it weren't fer our able feller citizen Mose
Moots, prop. of Mose Moots' Pine Ridge Tonsorial emporium, life fer our
menfolks wouldn't be half what it is. Mose, besides making us smell
good and fixing us up fer all kinds of celebrates, knows everthing that
goes on around these parts and also some things that don't go on, and he
aint tetchy about telling a feller neither.
It were because of Mose that Luke Spears Lunch Room didn't get robbed that time. Mose figgered there was something wrong at Luke's place, so he called Luke's dog Spot into the barber shop and smeared Spot's face full of lather. Spot didn't like that none and tore out of there, shakin' his head and runnin. fer his place behind the cash till at the eating house. These fellers who were sure enough holding up Luke saw Spot tearing in through the door and figured he was a mad dog and got scared plumb out of what they was doing.
|Mose has never hurt anybody real bad. When he
goes to shaving your neck he kind of bends your head back to where your
Adam's apple sticks out like a turkey's breast bone, and some of the feller's
always try holding water in their mouths after a shave to see if their
face leaks, but mostly that's only fooling. Mose never had a real sharp
razor at anytime, and most general a shave feels like he was trying to
beat off your whiskers with a wet rope.
There's one thing fer sure, whenever you got any politickin to do, or you're looking fer a feller you can't find no other place in Pine Ridge, you'll general find him down in front of Mose' shop. It comes pretty close to being our local men's club, and some of the fellers are getting real serious about forming a regular club and adopting that name a city drummer suggested fer them awhile back--the Pine Ridge Barberians. It's a certain shore thing there wouldn't be no shortage of members.
Sing a song of Horlick's
The growing, building
Then later Horlick's gives
In later years when they
So sing a song of Horlick's
And milk that's rich in cream.