And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well obviously you meant other than via e-mail.  And an omniscient
} Oracle such as myself is, of course, fluent in all forms of
} communication, both known and "unknown."  So let's cut to the chase
} and present . . .
} 
} THE TOP 10 WAYS TO SEND THE ORACLE A QUESTION (other than e-mail)
} 
} 10.  Smoke signals
}  9.  Time capsule  (Answer be some decades in coming.)
}  8.  Carrier pigeon  (Do NOT try substituting other animals for the
}      pigeon.  Particularly you-know-whats.)
}  7.  Morse code
}  6.  Subspace signals
}  5.  Mental telepathy
}  4.  Pony Express
}  3.  1-900-4-ORACLE.  Operators are standing by!
}  2.  Subliminal message  (Answer will come via same method, so be
}      alert.)
}  1.  Infiltrate the White House.  Make your way to the Oval Office. 
}      Pick up the red phone.  Say, "May I speak to Orrie?"  The
}      correct response to the secret code phrase is "Purple polka
}      dots and spinach dip."  You will then be directly connected.
} 
} You owe the Oracle a signed affidavit saying you will hold him in no
} way responsible if you try #1.
}