And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}
} I am omniscient and immortal, therefore I have infinite secrets.
} While I could sit down and write them all out for you, it wouldn't do
} you much good because you'd be dead by the time I finished, which
} would be never because we're talking about infinity here.  Although
} that's not an entirely bad idea, I can think of better ways to spend
} my immortal lifetime, so here are a few Oracular Secrets that you, in
} particularly, dear supplicant, might find of use.
} 
} 1.  Always run your e-mail through a spell checker before you send it.
} Actually, that's not much of a secret, but some handy and common
} advice far too few people actually follow.
} 
} 2.  "Stuplican't" is not, in fact, a misspelling, but how the Oracle
} actually refers to supplicants.  Usually it's behind their backs, but
} he makes the occasional exception, stuplican't.
} 
} 3.  The most fundamental law of the universe is not one of physics,
} but is Murphy's Law:  "If there are two or more ways to do something,
} and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will
} do it."
} 
} 4.  In the Oracle's eyes, Man and Beast are practically the same
} thing.
} 
} 5.  Stuplican'ts are hopelessly unaware.  Period.
} 
} I think that's all you miniscule--that means small--brain--that's
} B-R-A-I-N--can handle for now, stuplican't.  I hope you found this
} enlightening.