Inside, a man in a Prince Albert coat asked us if we had reserved a table. We couldn't figger out what he meant at first, but we explained to him that we wasn't reglar members of the club...we was jist visitin', so he set us down at a front row table. Most of the fokes was havin' trouble gettin' fed cause as soon as the food was served to them the band would start playin' and...everybody had to git up and dance. They had what they call a floor show...girls singin' and dancin' and elocutin'...the whole thing put us in the mind of a box social and literary.

One of the most peculiar things about Hollywood is that we ain't met nobody that was actual born here. Seems that most fokes livin' here comes from Iowa or New York and after talkin' to the New Yorkers for awhile they turn out to be from Iowa too. There was a old settlers reunion the other day, but we couldn't go cause you got to be a residence fer six months to be a old settler. We did meet one old man who says he's been here fer nigh on to three years, but we only got his word fer it.

We wanted to see a movin' pitcher studio, but we couldn't see nothin from the outside on account of the walls is too high. So Andy Devine fixed it fer us to git in. It was a awful big place--a city in itself--bigger than Mena even. Lots of houses only no backs to 'em and the queerest lookin' people we ever seen. There was one man with a long black beard, dressed in blue and silver with a towel around his head. He looked like a Hindu Prince, visitin' the studio, and Abner kept bowing to him, till we found out he was jist a "extry" actin' in one of the movies.

All the actors looked awful sunburned till we got close to 'em and then we could see it was only paint. Seems purty funny that grown men have to paint their faces thataway jist to make a livin'.


Back home we ain't got no oceans, but it's real handy here, so one afternoon we went down to a place called Santa Montica, where they got a Beach Club. We didn't have no idys what this was, but it turned out to be a place where people changed into their bathing suits. We figgered we'd see a lot of fokes swimmin' but there warn't nary a one in the water...they was all on the beach, lying under big colored umbrellers...And it warn't rainin' none neither. Seems like they don't come to the ocean to git washed--they jist want to git burned by the sun. Another one of them Hollywood ways of bein' differunt. And that's jist the trouble with our whole trip out here...We know blamed well, there ain't ary a soul in Pine Ridge that's ever goin' to believe us when we tell 'em what we seen here, when we get back home, we doubt if we'll be able ter believe all the things we seen ourselves.