Down home we got Lake Spears Lunch Room, and the T-Bone Tooter, but in Hollywood it's awful hard to find a place to eat.

SO THIS IS THET CALIFORNY "MIST"

We figgered the best place to git vittles was the Hollywood Bowl, so we went there, but there warn't no food. Jist a big place out in the open, with a lady singin' in it and a lot of other fokes sittin' 'round on the grass listenin' to her. Some of 'em looked like they was goin' to spend the nite there, because they had blankets...Er maybe they was jist Indians...We didn't stay to find out. We was awful hongry, so ast somebody where we could git some nice home cookin' and they tried to send us to a hat store. A place called the Brown Derby...

KIN  YOU  BEAT  THET -- A LUNCH  ROOM IN A HAT!

I-grannies, we've wore 'em, but we got better sense to try to eat out of one. Then we heerd that Clara Bow and Rex Bell the movie stars has a lunch room, called the "It" Cafe.

We went in and sat down at a table and ordered some of "It", but we never got none. Facts is, we never found out what "It" was, but we specks "It" must of been the good food. I-grannies, it shore is a fancy place.

One day we was walkin' down Hollywood Boo-le-vard, and we come to a theayter that looked like a Chinese Pagody. Would have been awful purty, but the front of it was spiled by somebody walkin' around in the cement 'fore it got dry. The foot prints is still there, and it's a shame, too, 'cause they tell us that's the place they hold the Pre-views...A Pre-view is somethin' we can't quite figger out. A new movin' pitcher is run off so's the producer kin git the public's reaction, but the public can't git in to see it.

TSK! TSK! FOOTPRINTS ON THE CE-MENT

They all stand outside while the actors go in to see theirselves on the screen, and there's more smart handclappin' in long black coats, like undertakers, but the women looks like fairy-tale princesses right outen a story book. Purtiest we ever seen. Not very strong lookin' though. Not one of em that looked like she might be much of a hand at milkin' er churnin' er choppin' wood...The fokes that cain't git in the theayter all waits outside 'till the show is over. And when the actors and the movie stars comes out everybody rushes up to em with papers and pencils and notebooks to git em to sign their names...Autygrafs they calls it.