WE NEVER reckoned that Hollywood was a sure enough real place, and we never thought we'd ever git to see it, but I-grannies, here we are. An it is the most mixeduptest place we ever seen in all our life. Special the way they name things--jist backards you might say. Fer eggsamples, they's a place here called Beverly Hills. We went out there to look 'em over, but all we seen was lots of houses and palm trees. There warn't nary a hill around there. The hills is all off in the mountains. Awful purty though. Then we took a ride thruogh a place called Cold Water Canyon, but we couldn't see no water at all. And we was awful surprised to hear that many of the movin' pitcher studios ain't in Hollywood, like we allus thought. Some is in Culver City, and one is in Burbank, and one is in Universal City, and all them places is miles away from Hollywood.

Bein' interested in agricultures, we couldn't figger out how fokes could raise crops in such hilly country. Seems to us, if a man tried to do any farmin' on the side of a mountain, he'd be takin' a awful chance of fallin' right out of his farm.

But we found out that all the crops is raised in San Fernando's Valley. Right purty place. The principal produce is citrus, and lemons and oranges growin' on trees thataway, just like apples. Even though they do a right smart job of growin' things out here, they ain't got no farms. Leastways, fokes here don't call 'em farms. They call 'em Ranches. Now, down home, if a feller has fruit trees on his place, he's got a orchard, but out here it's a grove. And another thing we can't figger is how they grows anything, because it never rains...'Course, sometimes it gits a little foggy, and damp and the streets gits a little flooded, and people say it's jist mist. But we ain't never seen mist pour the way it did last night.

The streets is mostly called Boo-le-vards. Now take Hollywood Boo-le-vard, fer incidence...Some of the nicest lookin' stores, and some of the purtiest clothes in the windows, but most of the people we seen around town was wearin' pajamas and shorts. Everything in Hollywood is a heap different from things in Pine Ridge.