One sure sign of spring is when fellers start usin' pieces of red flannel for fish bait.

Never put your faith in seed catalogues. That thing with the double barreled name always turns out to be radishes.

Sister Simpson can't really be called lazy. Nobody can, who is as energetic as she is when it comes to mindin' other folks business.

A man has as much stowage space in his pockets as you'll find in a good sized dresser--and usually they contain just about as much junk.

The way it looks to me, it isn't sittin' and thinkin' that hurts a feller-- it's too much plain sittin' that does the damage.

Trouble with experience is that we're never content to use the other feller's and when we finally get some for ourselves it's generally too late to keep us from doin' whatever it was we shouldn't have done.

We've always figured that if a fellar would choose his friends the way he chooses his britches there would be fewer rips in friendship and no patches on the seat of his wisdom.

Some women have good looks that are like a big fire-it's better to admire 'em when you're a block or so away.

Advice is a lot like money. You got to get a store of it in the cash box before you can afford to go giving any of it away.

Society is like pie. The upper crust doesn't count for much unless there's somethin' mighty good below it.

I always found that the best way to figure out what tomorrow's weather was going to be is to wait until tomorrow comes along, That way you never make a mistake.

Too much comfort is a disease that takes a good old porous plaster full of trouble to cure.

Gettin' mad is a lot like using a shot gun. The danged thing always goes off when you don't know it's loaded, and when you've got a reasonable excuse to really use it the barrel is generally so full of old wads that the dad gummed thing only sputters.