Fraser: "The caribou, the elk the beaver? They too can talk?"
Quinn: "I've been getting into this native roots thing and it seems to work. Besides, I thought the Tonto act might impress that little jackass."

Francesca: "Why don't you field this one, Harding?"
(After she took over the press conference, not to her superior's delight.)

Fraser: "Oh, don't be silly. I'm not embarrassed or bored when you sniff things."
(Fraser is sniffing the sidewalk while people walk by, staring at him.)

Quinn: "If you can't find the caribou, you can't know if you'll them."
Young Fraser: "I could find them."
Quinn: "Not before they die of old age."

Fraser: "It is customary to exchange ghost stories around a campfire in the wilderness."
Stan: "We're not in the wilderness."
Fraser: "It's an approximation."
Stan: No, it's not, Fraser. We are in a park in the middle of Chicago. I had to step over a wino and kick two junkies to get here."

Stan: (to Fraser) "I don't know who has less sex, me or you, but at least I still think about women."

Stan: "Why are we investigating the deceased?"
Welsh: "Because we're doing a full investigation."
Francesca: "Yeah, 'cause he's Italian."
Welsh: "What?"
Francesca: "He's Italian, so he's gotta be Mafia, right?"

Welsh: "Let it go, Detective. Remember, you're only pretending to an Italian."
Stan: "Ciao, sir."

Stan: "Frannie, you're a woman... apparently. What do women look for in a man?"
Francesca: "You're asking me? Why, what sick thing are you up to?"
Stan: "I'm just asking. I've got a friend. So, this love-at-first- sight thing. Is it legit? I mean, if you don't make a good first impression, are you dead in the water or what?" (stuffs sandwich in mouth)
Francesca: "Well, you're not deformed ... or anything... really. I don't know. It really depends. Did you show her your disgusting tattoo or how far you could spit, or, that charming thing when you kick holes through the ceiling tiles?"

Stan: "You know, Fraser, from the second floor, there is always the other option. Fraser: "Which is?"
Stan: "The stairs."
(Stan not too sympathetic after Fraser injures his back in jump out of window.)

Welsh: "You're going to defend yourself by drowning somebody to death?"
(To Francesca, who is armed with water pistol.)

Sherman: "You under the care of a qualified psychiatrist, Constable?"
(After Fraser mentions primitive means of extracting information from prisoners, and how the current penal system is much kinder.)

Stan: "So we should kill her to avoid any bad press, sir?"
(Said sarcastically to Bedford, in regards to Beth Botrelle.)

Stan: "Fraser, what are you doing?"
Fraser: "Driving."
Stan: "This is not driving, this is walking with a vehicle."
(Fraser annoyingly obeys all speed limits.)

Stan: "Pitter patter, let's get at her. Let's find that car."

Fraser: "My name is Constable Benton Fraser--"
Lolla: "You first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of your daddy, and you stayed... so did your daddy."

Welsh: "What is she doing?"
Gerome: "She's placing a curse on your station."
Welsh: "In here, who would notice?"

Francesca: "Oh my god, it's a werewolf."
(Upon hearing Dief howl in station.)

Goodfellow: "That's great. Guy dies, and we're not supposed to worry about it because the last person to see him has a red suit, and we got a dog for a witness."
Fraser: "Wolf, actually."

Dief howls. Welsh: (sarcastically) "Oh, wonderful."
Fraser: "It is quite beautiful, isn't it?"

Francesca: "What about the curse?"
Welsh: "If it's not out of here in two seconds you'll face the curse of unemployment."
(Welsh orders Francesca to remove anti-voodoo material from her desk.)

Stan: "We got proof, Fraser, you smelled the dog. Smelled the dog... Fraser, I think I"ve been working with you too long."

Fraser: "Dief!"
Stan: "Dief's deaf."
Fraser: "Good point, Ray."
(Fraser yells at wolf, who is out of eyesight.)

Stan: "You all right?"
Fraser: "Yeah."
Stan: "Sure you're okay?"
Fraser: "Yeah, I'm fine."
Stan: "The reason I ask is you're on fire."
Fraser: "Oh."
(The back of Fraser's peacoat is on fire.)

Goodfellow: "It's been a real slice."
Fraser: "Of what?"
Aaron: "He's Canadian."

Fraser: "They feel her life may in danger while here in Chicago?"
Thatcher: "Danger? (snorts) As if those pencil-necked geeks in Industry, Trade and Commerce would know danger if it jumped up and pierced their spleen with an ice pick."

Welsh: "What the hell is that?"
Fraser: "The sound of a grown man squealing in a manner not becoming a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police."
(Upon hearing sound of Turnbull squealing in delight that Tracy will be staying at the Consulate.)

Dewey: "I'm not going to allow my music to be prostituted like that. I'm not going to compromise my principles."
Huey: "Oh please. You don't have any no music ... or principles."

Stan: "Have you ever been to Florida?!"
Dunn: "Once, to see Mickey."
Stan: "Did he give you a gun?"
Dunn: "He's a mouse, mister. I was six!"

Stan (whispering): "I thought she was pretty good".
Fraser: "Good, as in, attractive?"
Stan: "I don't care."
(After the back-up singer leaves the studio after hearing George describe what he thinks of her singing.)

Stan: "That man has the rhythm of a stick."
(To himself, about Fraser's movements while singing.)

Stan: "You seen Earl?"
Fraser: "No, I was, uh…"
Stan: "Movin' like a blocka wood."
Fraser: "I'm sorry."
Stan: "Singin' like a bird."
Fraser: "Really?"
Stan: "I didn't tell ya what kinda bird."
Fraser: "Oh…"
(After Tracey cornered Fraser into singing backup.)

Francesca: "So, is this like a prerequisite for being a Mountie? You just have to be completely nutty?"
(To Turnbull, who is treating her to great lunch.)

Stan: "Somebody oughta check that guy's freezer."
(Commenting about fanatical fan Carver Dunn.)

Fraser: "No, I assure you it is a polar bear."
Dief: {growl}
Fraser: "Well, he lives in a *mall*. If you keep eating those pizzas we'll see how you look in side of a year!"
(Fraser to Dief at a Christmas exhibit in a mall)

Fraser: "Oh may, look at this, look at this. This is nice."
Vendor: "The *gentleman* has a good eye."
Fraser: "How much for this?"
Stan: "It's a log!"
Fraser: "Yes, would $5 be sufficient?"
Vendor: "Yeah, sure."
Fraser: "There you are, Merry Christmas."
Vendor: "Merry Christmas"
Stan: "Fraser, it's a log!"
Fraser: "Marvelous log!"
(Fraser, Stan and teddy bear salesman at the mall)

Fraser: "Excuse me for a second I have to have a word with Santa."
(Fraser goes after Santa) Turnbull: "Fraser, it's me, Turnbull."
Fraser. "Oh, Turnbull, I took you for Santa."

"She was never that big on Christmas... or me for that matter."
(Kowalski about Stella)

Fraser: "Anything wrong, Francesca?"
Francesca: "No, it's ah..my art class. Next term we're suppose to study nudes, and I just really don't think I could be in a class with anybody *nude*."
Fraser: "You know, Francesca, as beautiful and natural as the human body is I..eh..understand completely what you mean. brrah.. I wonder if you can help me with some information?"
Francesca: "Sure, What's up? Fraser: "I need to know everything your have on Mr. Warfield, his prior arrests, surveillance reports, known accomplices, whether he poses in the nude...."
Francesca: "Was...was that a joke?"
Fraser: "Yes."
Francesca: "Ooh, that was so good!"
(Fraser and Francesca)

Fraser (to Turnbull): "I want you to lock up after I go. You don't let anyone in until I return. I want you to guard this man [Tommy] with your life."
Turnbull: "Trouble, Sir?"
Fraser: "Of a kind."
Turnbull: "Trouble is my middle name."
Fraser: "Well Tommy your in good...... well your in hands."
(Fraser leaves)
Turnbull (to Tommy): "You look like a natural baritone. Do you know the words of Santa Drives Pickup?"

Welsh: "Ms. Vecchio this is police work. It could be dangerous."
Frannie: " I want to do it."
Fraser: "Francesca, the leftenant is right."
Frannie: "Shut up, Fraser!"
Fraser: "As you wish".

Agent: "So you can go into this trance on command."
Fraser: "Well, not exactly. It takes about 15 minutes to go under and 15 minutes to come out."
Agent: "How long can you stay under?"
Fraser: "Ah...once in a lean-to on the shores of the Nahanni I was under for exactly 36 hours."
Agent: "Then what happened?"
Fraser: "Well, then I had to...ah.."
Agent: "You had to pee, Constable?"
Fraser: "Well, yes, I had consumed roughly the equivalent of a dugout canoes worth of bark tea."
(Fraser and FBI agent)

Stan: "Churches make me nervous"
Fraser: "That's an odd reaction"
Stan: "Well, I'm more of a.... human sacrifice kind of guy."
Fraser: "Ah."

"Well the thing is you really can't love someone until you know them."
"Sure you can, the hard thing is to love them after you know them."
(Detective Jack Huey and Detective Tom Dewey, at the station house referring to the question, "Is there love at first sight?")

Thatcher: "What is he doing?"
Stan: "Following his instinct!"

Fraser: "Ummm... Hi, I'm a Constable. Eh well, obviously you are also a Constable. My name is..eh..My Constable name is Constable Benton Fraser."
Maggie: "I'm Constable Maggie Mackenzie from Inuvik."
Fraser: "Oh, Mackenzie. The name is familar."
Maggie: "Eh well, you are. Your father and my mother were friends. I certainly know your name. You're infamous in the north."
Fraser: "Oh, yes, Well, Ummm...."
(Fraser when he meets Maggie Mackenzie at the Consulate.)

Frannie (to Stan): "Hey! HEY!! Mitts off the hardware!" Stan: "Uh, Francesca meet uh, Constable Mackenzie."
Maggie: "Hi."
Frannie: "Hi."
Stan: "She's tryin' to get some info on a couple-a guys."
Maggie: "Mike and Mark Torrelli? - They're brothers?"
Frannie: "Um, - are you and Fras(er), friends from up north and everything?"
Maggie: "We just met today."
Frannie: "Oh, really? Cuz -- you look, closer... than that. (Clears throat.) How long you been a Mountie?"
Maggie: "5 years."
Frannie: "Oh. I'm on the waiting list for the academy."
Maggie: "Congratulations."
Frannie: "Thanks!... Yeah the uniforms are nice, cuz, you know, they're black and that's always slimming and elegant. Whereas your uniforms are… - kinda make a statement, ya know?"
Maggie: "Yeah, they're an attention-getter alright."
Frannie: "Yeah."
Maggie: "Whether you want them to be or not, they're --"
Frannie: "Kinda like when you're having a bad hair day."
Maggie: "Or trying to get past a cougar who's standing between you and some drinking water."
Fraser: (Chuckles)
Frannie: "Yeah...yeah. Yeah, I hate that."
Stan: "Wow, I just came outta my coma -- uh, can you uh, do a little work Francesca? So, uh, do you think you're gonna be transferred down here to the windy city of Chicago with some..."
Maggie: "No, no. I wouldn't last a week in the city. In fact I'm finding it uh, hard to breathe right here, right now."
Frannie: "Well, that's probably cuz you don't have enough air. Why don't you guys give her some air? SOME AIR?!" (Now wildly waving her arms.)
Fraser: "Oh..."
(At the precinct, Frannie's desk, where an increasingly anxiety-stricken Francesca is first presented with Maggie in red serge.)

Dief: "Grrruff."
Fraser: "Where? Oh my God!"
(pours a glass of water and starts smoothing down the hair on the back of his head. Maggie enters)
Maggie: "Constable Fraser."
Fraser: "Eh, Morning, Constable Mackenzie, I just, eh, I have a head...I mean I have my hair. Well, I mean I slept on my head--Well, not *on* my head because...(sigh) You know in the words of Joe O'Bodiac, a hat can cover a multitude on sins!"

Fraser: "And you know, you don't have to call me Constable, Constable. You can just call me Benton or Fraser. Eh, That's my name. Well, Benton is my name..."
Fraser Sr.: "You'll never get anywhere like that, son. I know it's not easy but try and relax and be yourself. In fact, try and relax and be someone else."
Maggie: "Were you, were you just in the closet?"
Fraser Sr.: "She talking to me?"
Fraser: "She seems to be talking to you."
Fraser Sr.: "You can see me?"
Maggie: "Yes. Of course."
Fraser: "Holy moly!"
Fraser Sr.: "Great Scott!"
Maggie: "My God you look just like Bob Fraser!"
(Fraser, Fraser Sr., and Maggie in Fraser's office.)

Turnbull: "Uh...ahhh...uhhhh, perhaps Constable Fraser is playing a book on tape and doesn't want to be disturbed?!"
Thatcher: "Constable Fraser was born disturbed Turnbull, NOW GET OUTTA MY WAY!"
(In the Consulate hallway where they hear the laughter of Fraser, Fraser Sr. and Maggie coming from Fraser's office.)

Thatcher: "Constable Fraser!"
Fraser: "Major Thatcher, sorry!"
Thatcher: "For...?"
Fraser: I'm not sure... This is Constable Mackenzie. (then to Maggie) Inspector Thatcher, and Constable Turnbull."
Maggie: "Pleased to meet you, Hi."
Thatcher: "Are you here officially?"
Turnbull: "Or unofficially? (Thatcher elbows him deftly in the gut) Humpff.."
Fraser: "Constable Mackenzie is here on the trail of some suspects."
Thatcher: In your closet?"
Fraser: "At the moment, yes."
Thatcher: "Why wasn't I informed?"
(Fraser, Maggie Mackenzie, Thatcher, and Turnbull in Fraser's office at the Consulate.)

Maggie: "I see why you like her [Thatcher]."
Fraser: "Inspector Thatcher and I have a purely...... We should get back on the case."

Fraser: "Ray, Meg and I have a lot of common."
Ray: "Yeah, your both canadian and you both kind of odd."

Stan (to Fraser): "You got a thing for her?"
Fraser: "Who, for Rosie?!! Oh, for Maggie, eh, it depends on what you mean by 'thing' Ray."
Stan: "Uh, ok well to be honest with ya, um, I, I...I got some feelings for her."
Fraser: "Uh-huh Well then we both have feelings."
Stan: "I knew it, I knew it. A great girl comes along, eh, one that I could really get close to and you're after her like a mad, rabid Canadian dog."
Fraser: "Ray, Maggie and I have a lot in common."
Stan: "Yeah, you're both Canadian 'n you're both kinda odd!"
Fraser: "I do feel oddly comfortable with her."
Stan: "Oddly comfortable. That's great. Love Canadian-style."
Fraser: "You know she might prefer you."
Stan: "Oh yeah, she's not gonna go for the good-lookin' freak who speaks the same language, she's gonna go for the Chicago flatfoot with the - experimental hair…"
(Outside the precinct on the way to Stan's car while Maggie steps away to help a homeless woman.)

Stan: "My bowels seem okay."
Fraser: "I'm relieved."
(After Stan thinks he got affected by nerve gas.)

Turnbull: "Gas? You say you have gas, sir?"
Frobisher: "A powerful gas. It could out thousands, possibly even more."
(An example of miscommunication.)

Francesca: "He was born on the tundra, that's where he belongs. You'll kill him if you take him to Toronto."
Thatcher: "That's a bit drastic, don't you think?"
Francesca: "Look, I've been to Toronto. Trust me, nothing can survive there."

Fraser: (grinning) "Ray."
Stan: "Ray?"
Fraser: "Ray Vecchio."
Stan: "Ray Vecchio?"
(Fraser is confronted by the real Ray Vecchio for the first time in a year.)

Ray: "Who are you?"
Stan: "Who? Me?"
Ray: "Yeah, you."
Stan: "What do you mean?"
Ray: "What do they call you?"
Stan: "Who?"
Ray: "Am I still speaking English here?!"
(Ray, still masquerading as Armando, is trying to interrogate Stan.)

Ray: "For a full year, I am deep undercover, never waiting in line, always getting the best tables at the best restaurants. I live in a 9,000 square foot adobe house at the edge of the desert with butler named Nero, who brings me buttermilk night and day. And everywhere I go, I sit in the back seat of a black limo with my elbow on the gangster lean, and all this, all this you wipe out with one word!"
Fraser: "It's good to see you, Ray." (smiles)
Ray: "It's good to see you too, Benny." (they hug)
Stan: (snidely) "Oh, Benny, that's cute."

Ray: "So you're me."
Stan: "And you're not you."
Ray: "That's a good one. Unlike the clothes."
Stan: "Something wrong with them?"
Ray: "Well, nothing if you're a ... bag lady. You see, I had a rep. I was a slick dresser."
Stan: "Oh yeah, like a style pig, you mean."
Ray: (grinning) "You kill me, funny guy. I see it's going to take a lot of work to get my reputation back in place."
Stan: "What place was that?"
Ray: "Well, you see, these three goons are gonna get one call each. They're gonna call Vegas. And when they do, Armando Langoustini is going to go up like flash paper. Time to get my old life back."
Stan: "But that's my life."
Ray: "I'm afraid it is."
Stan: "What are you grinning about?"
Fraser: (putting arms on shoulders of Ray and Stan) "I knew you two would hit it off."

Welsh: "Oh Ray."
Ray/Stan: "Yeah?"
Welsh: "No, I mean, uh... I can see this is going to be confusing, huh? Look, you be Ray Vecchio 'cause you were Ray Vecchio to start with."
Ray: "Right."
Stan: "And, uh, who am I?"
Welsh: "Good question. You can be Stanley Kowalski."
Ray: "Stanley Kowalski??" (grinning)
Welsh: "His father had a big thing for Marlon Brando."
Stan: "So, um, I just... uh... okay."
Ray: "Later, Stanley." Fraser: "Why? What?"
Fraser Sr.: "Finish your sentence, son. An incomplete sentence is an early indicator of a softening mind."
(Fraser at a loss for words when he enters the closet and finds his father's office all packed up!)

Stan: "You ever feel like you don't know who you are? Like if you weren't around somebody or had somebody wasn't around you, that you wouldn't be you. Or at least not the you that you think you are. You know, you ever feel like that?"
Thatcher: "Never."
Stan: "Me neither."

Welsh: "What are you doing?"
Huey: "We're practicing."
Welsh: "For what? To pass yourselves as two guys with serious head wounds?"
(Huey and Dewey in back seat practicing comedy routines on stake-out.)

Stan: "Where'd they go? (Ray comes up behind him, startling cop) Hey!"
Ray: "Jumpy." (then Thatcher does it to Ray)
Thatcher: "It's this place."
Ray: "Hey!"
Stan: "Jumpy."

Fraser: "He killed my mother. I would have done the same as you."
Fraser Sr.: "I hope not, Ben. I hope you never get a chance to find out."
Ray: "Still talking to yourself, Benny?"
(Ray wakes up in hospital to find Benny talking to himself, at least from his point of view.)

Stan: "You know, Fraser, being your partner has certain drawbacks?"
Fraser: "Such as?"
(Clinging to the wing of an airplane in flight!)

Stan: "Ice field? What the hell is an ice field?"
Fraser: "A field of ice."
Fraser Sr.: "The Yank tends to miss the obvious."
Fraser: "Sometimes."
Stan: "Sometimes? Well, what is it the rest of the time?"
Fraser: "It would still be a field of ice."

Huey: "One seven F-O-C seven six. Hey, foc, foc!"
Dewey: "Hey, watch how you pronounce that. It may not fly on television."

Fraser: "Ray, look turtles!"
Stan: "Turtles? Aaaaahhhhh!"
(Fraser and Stan right before the Mountie throws Stan out of the airplane.)

Fraser: "Ray. You all right?"
Stan: "I'm under 30 feet of snow. How could I be all right?"
Fraser: "Well, you're alive."

Welsh: "You know, Ray, when sometimes somebody gets lost in the system, sometimes even their lawyers can't find them for a few days."
Ray: "A human tragedy, sir."

Stan: "Fraser, I'm not up to this. My idea of health is a cup of coffee ... without sugar."
(Complaining about hiking through Yukon wilderness.)

Turnbull: "Speaking of tallow, sir. I've got a half of mind to strap on the old feedbag myself."
Thatcher: "Yes, Turnbull, you do have half a mind."

Fraser: "When I first came to Chicago. I felt as though I was from another planet."
Stan: "Which you are."

Stan: "You gotta push through the cold and the pain and keep moving, 'cause that's what partnership's all about. There's red ships and green ships but no ships like partnership."
Fraser: "All right, Ray, you're starting to blither."
(As Fraser climbs mountain, with Stan on his back, and Fraser Sr. just hanging around on a ledge to offer advice.)

Ray: "For all we know, they could be stuck in a block of ice somewhere or something. I mean it's not like I care. It's--"
Stella: "You care."
Ray: "You think so?"
Stella: "I think you have a generous heart."
Ray: "Well, thank you, Stella."
Francesca/Welsh: (sarcastically) "Oh please...."

Thatcher: "Fraser?"
Fraser: (to Stan) "Duty."
Stan: "Barks."

Stella: "Look, you're making me dizzy." (in regards to Francesca's and Welsh's pacing)
Ray: (grinning at Stella) "You're making me dizzy."

Cyrus: "Memo to myself. Never try to raise an army of liberation out of a bunch of potato farmers from Idaho!"

"I'm too young to die!"
(Turbull, as Cyrus' men open fire on the Mounties hiding behind the sub.)