Ray: "Oh no, I know that tone in your voice. You think I'm being cheap."
Fraser: "No, there's nothing wrong with being frugal, Ray. If you can't afford to buy presents, well, getting them for opening a bank account is a viable if not inventive alternative."
Ray: "But you think that I can afford it. You just think I'm being cheap."
(Fraser and Ray about Ray's Christmas shopping habits.)

"In our zeal to solve this case, I can't wonder if we haven't been, I don't know, how do you say it? Excessively stupid?"
(Welsh to Huey & Louis, and Ray)

Welsh: "Detective Vecchio, do you have a theory?"
Ray: "Yes Sir, but actually it's constable Fraser's Theory, Sir."
Welsh: "Oh really."
Fraser: "Good afternoon lieutenant."
Welsh: " Merry Christmas Constable. I assume you're working on some kind of a North Pole connection."
Fraser: "No sir, and actually it's a misconception that the North Pole is in Canada, sir. Its ownership has been in dispute ever since Admiral Perry planted a flag there in 1909. A fact that in itself is in dispute since many believe it was Matthew Hensen, an African-American who first discovered.."
(cut off by Ray)

"You know, I always thought it was the bravest thing a man could do, writing down his most innermost feelings so that any stranger could read them."
(Fraser to Del about Porter)

Fraser Sr.: "Hello, son."
Fraser: "Hello, Dad. How are you?"
Fraser Sr.: "I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?"
Fraser: "No, that's what I was asking."
Fraser Sr.: "Oh, that's good. Never be ashamed to ask a stupid question, son. I taught you that, didn't I?"
Fraser: "Not specifically, no."
Fraser Sr.: "Well, no time like the present."
(Fraser turns around in car to find ghost of his dead father sitting there)

Fraser: "...Is there any insanity in our family?"
Fraser Sr.: "No, Not that I'm aware of."
Fraser: "Good."
Fraser Sr.: "Well, there was your Uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves but we assumed that was a freak accident."

Fraser: "So did you just happend to pick this moment of reappear?"
Fraser Sr.: "Well obviously you needed my help, son. And it was my fault. If I had better prepared you, you wouldn't be floundering around."
Fraser: "Well I'm not completely over my head, dad. I mean..."
Fraser Sr.: "No, no, don't try to make me feel better, son. I failed you as a father and I'm going to make it up for you."
Fraser: "How exactly are you going to do that? I mean, it's not......"
(Ray comes back)
Ray: "Anything happen?"
Fraser: "In what sense?"
(Fraser's dead father has come back)

Fraser: (gets into Ray's car fast) "Drive. Quick. Before he comes back."
Ray: "Who?"
Fraser: "My father. Drive. Go."
Ray: "Fraser, your father's dead."
Fraser: "I know, and I don't mean to speak ill of him. It's just that he's driving me nuts."
Ray: "Your father?"
Fraser: "He's not really here. I know that. It's all in my mind. It's just he refuses to stay there or rather he refuses to leave there. I don't really understand it but I tell you, it's beginning to wear a little thin. I mean does he think I'm completely ignorant? The next thing he's going to do is try to show me how to start a fire. You know, Ray, I've got half a mind just to tell him to pack up, move out."
Ray: "Of your mind?"
Fraser: "Yes."
Fraser Sr.: "Hello, son."
Fraser: "Oh God, he's back."

"I learned two things from my father. One, timing. Mostly when to duck. And two, you never hit a kid, because it doesn't teach him anything."
(Ray to Fraser)

"I think there's only one thing that a father needs to leave his son, and that's a good example of how a man should live his life. Anything else, the son can learn for himself. The greatest gift my father ever gave me was the courage to trust my own abilities, and I learned that through his example."
(Fraser to Porter)

"What you need son, if you don't mind me saying, is a good solid plan. --Or, you can just throw a rock."
(Robert Fraser)

"I said elves, you moron! ELVES!"
(Louis Gardino)

"Fraser, parking illegally in this town is a sport."
(Ray Vecchio)

"You do know what you can do with your fire hoses?"
"Ah, well, yes, if I was unable to circumvent your vehicle, I'd pull up that sign, drive it through the side windows, and run my hoses in between. But that's just me."
(Discussion after Fraser points out to Bodine that he's blocking a fire hydrant with his car)

"God, you're beautiful."
(Ray to departing Suzanne after she hits him with her car)

Fraser: "Do you remember what she looked like?"
Ray: (grinning like an idiot) "She looked exquisite."
Fraser & Paramedic: "Uh huh."
(Fraser trying to find out who hit Ray with car)

Officer #2: "He actually stopped a guy on the south side to lecture him about fire safety?"
Ray: "Well, it's Saturday night, and he's Canadian."
Officer: "Good call."

Ray: "Women give men signs to let them know they're the right woman for you."
Louis: "She hit you with a car. You call that a sign?"

"She wants me to find her, Fraser."
"Uh-huh."
"Will you stop with the uh-huhing?"
"Do you remember what she looked like?"
"She looked exquisite."
"Uh-huh."
(Ray Vecchio, Ambulance attendant, Benton Fraser)

"So, Fraser, how's the apartment furnishing coming along?"
"Very well, thank you, Elaine. As a matter of fact, I recently purchased a lamp."
"Really? A lamp?"
"Very good for reading."
"Is that what you do at night? So, what are you reading with this new lamp?"
"Well, I've been reading a book about currency watermarks."
"Alone?"
(Elaine Besbriss, Benton Fraser)

"What about the woman?"
"You know, funny thing, I'm having trouble matching the word 'exquisite' to a lot of mugshots."
(Ray Vecchio, Elaine Besbriss)

"If I give him some, will he stop?"
"Not a chance, sir."
(Lieutenant Welsh, Benton Fraser)

"Oh, that is it. You're cut off, Bucko."
(Fraser to fast food-scarfing Diefenbaker, locking him in room)

"Look, I can't see why we don't play for real money. I mean, we're cops. What are we gonna do, arrest ourselves?"
"No, but *he* will."
"I'm sorry, I would feel honour-bound."
(Louis Gardino, Ray Vecchio, Benton Fraser)

"Look at this, I'm playing poker with myself."
(Jack Huey)

"You know, every time I think I've found the right woman, she turns out to be the wrong one, and the one that I thought was wrong would make a date and I'd never show up. Six months later I'm sitting in some pew and I'm watching her walk down the aisle with some goomba. I'm thinking, 'that's her. That's the one. How did I let her slip through my fingers?'"
(Ray to Fraser)

Ray: "Why can't I meet some nice young thing that's crazy about me? You know, someone who wears shorty pajamas and makes me muffins at Christmas time. Is that too much to ask?"
Fraser: "What exactly are shorty pajamas?"
Ray: "Oh, don't ask. You're better off. Me. I gotta fall for some hit-and-run driver who works for a stolen weapons dealer. Go figure."
Fraser: "Go figure what?"
Ray: "It's an American expression, Fraser. Don't you think it's about time you picked up the lingo?"

"Ten seconds, ten years. Chemistry is chemistry."
(Ray, about love)

"Of course not, you're a Mountie. What does a Mountie know about women?"
(Ray to Fraser)

Bodine: "He's a Mountie. These Mounties, they catch you sooner or later. I hate that."
Suzanne: "That's not real life, Frank. That's Rocky & Bullwinkle."

"That's fascinating, Fraser, but the last caribou spotted in Chicago was over 300 years ago."
(Ray to Fraser)

"Elaine, we are attempting to track criminals as though they were fur-bearing animals. What news could be bad?"
(Ray)

Fraser: "Ray, I don't mean to press the point but we're standing behind a 1971 Buick Riviera. They, on the other hand, are hurtling down a hill at roughly 47 miles an hour in a six ton, steel-plated military weapons carrier."
Ray: "Works for me."

"You see, that is the trouble with signs. You get the right sign from the wrong women and you end up paying for it the rest of your life."
(Louis, regarding love)

Louis: "Women don't have signs. Men have signs. Women have biological imperatives. It's true. I read it."
Elaine: "Jeez, no wonder your wife left you for a pork roast."

"I would have bet my soul on her, Fraser."
(Ray to Fraser, thinking his career is down the toilet when Suzanne turns out to be a Fed)

"You know, there was a woman once, Ray. We were, uh... I don't know what we were. In the end I tracked her up above the 62nd parallel into a place called Fortitude Pass. A storm had been blowing for days; the whole world was white. By the time I found her I had lost everything --my packs, my supplies, everything. She was huddled in the lee side of a mountain crag. She was almost frozen, very near death. So I staked a lean-to and draped my coat across it, drew her inside, and I covered her body with mine and I just held her...while the storm closed around us like a blanket, until all I could hear was the sound of her heartbeat, weakening. I forced her to speak to me...just talk to me ...say anything to keep the cold from taking her. And it snowed for a day...and a night...and a day. I was delirious; I almost gave up. The only thing I had to hold onto was the sound of her voice, which never wavered. She recited a poem. I must have heard that poem a thousand times that night; I never heard the words. It ended ...badly. She had a ... she had a darkness inside her ... and the most beautiful voice. The most beautiful voice you've ever heard."
(Benton Fraser)

"Oh, there you are. Out of doughnuts, are we?"
(Fraser to Dief)

"That's what we need - ridiculous odds and just a speck of hope that someday we'll beat them."
"I can't say I understand that, Ray."
"Well of course you don't! You aren't too swift at this stuff, are you, Fraser?"
(Ray and Fraser)

Ray: "You know, I have to do this every two years and I still get the jitters."
Fraser: "Trust your judgement Ray, be honest with yourself."
Ray: "It's a psych review not a confessional. ... If they say "brother" and I say "naked" I'll be explaining myself away for the next two years."
Fraser: "You'd say "naked"?"
Ray: "I'm talking hypothetically."
Fraser: "It's just an odd response."
Ray: "See even you are reading stuff into this."

"You had dreams of your mother *naked*?"
(Fraser to Ray)

Fraser: "Maybe I can help."
Walter: "How? How are you gonna help?"
Fraser: "Well, I'm a Mountie."
Walter: "You don't look like a Mountie."
Fraser: "Well, you know the red uniform. It's mostly for special occasions, although they seem to insist that I wear mine more--"
Walter: "You always get your man then?"
Fraser: "You know, that's a popular misconception. It really isn't our motto. It was invented by a writer of an early black and white movie. Our actual motto is Maintain the Right, which admittedly may not be..."
(Fraser trying to talk Walter from jumping off ledge, and going off on a tangent, as usual)

"You know, I looked onto that man's eyes when I was on that ledge, Ray, and I saw a man who was lost. You can lose your job, you can lose your home, and it could be devastating. But if you lose yourself you have nothing."
(Benton Fraser)

Ray: "Fraser, there's a guy on my corner who asks me every morning if I've seen God. Do you think he really expects me to point him out?"
Fraser: "Well, you know, if you did, Ray, perhaps he'd stop asking."

"Excuse me, can *you* take us to Mike's House, please?"
(Fraser)

"You know, the Inuit have 60 words to describe snow, Ray. One-third of them concern the colour."
"Eskimos don't have a lot to do in the winter, huh?"
(Benton Fraser, Ray Vecchio)

Ray: "Oh, what's your theory? The guy jumped from the fifth floor of the hospital, caught a thermal updraft and flew the 16 blocks to the river?"
Fraser: "Well, that's just silly, Ray."
Ray: "It's a joke."

"You know, there's no law against lying to Canadians."
(Ray to Dr. Pearson)

Ray: "That's crazy."
Fraser: "That's a good idea."
(Fraser decides to commit himself)

Fraser: "Well, you see, I used to live in the Yukon but I uncovered a plot that involved drowning caribou and then some men who were dressed in white came after me with homicidal intentions. It's a rather long story and it takes exactly two hours to tell, but the upshot of it is I was sent here. I think I embarrassed some people in the government."
Psychologist: "Do you have anyone who can vouch for you here?"
Fraser: "Well, yes, there's my wolf. Although I'm not sure he would vouch for me. If you know anything about lupine behavior, you know how moody they are and on top of that, he's deaf."
(Fraser talking to psychologist at hospital, in hopes of getting admitted so he can do some undercover work)

"Don't take your feet off the floor."
"Ok."
(patient and Fraser)

Walter: "I just want to get better and get out [of the mental hospital]"
Fraser: "Are you?"
Walter: "What?"
Fraser: "Getting better?"
Walter: "Doesn't matter what I think."
Fraser: "I would have thought that's the *only* thing that matters."
(Walter and Fraser)

Walter: "People see things. That doesn't mean they are real. That doesn't mean that it happened"
Fraser: "I'm not sure about that. Quite often I see things that nobody else seems to."
Walter: "Well, that's why you are here."
Fraser: [chuckling] "Yes, I suppose so."

"I am but mad, north northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know the difference between hawk and a handsaw."
(Fraser quoting from Hamlet)

"Quite often I see things that no else seems to."
(Fraser to Walter)

Fraser: "I didn't listen to what they were telling me." Well, I did, but I listened with my eyeballs."
Ray: "You know, you're really beginning to scare me."

"It's a curious thing--reality--isn't it?"
(Fraser)

"I don't react well to shock treatment!"
(Ray yelling at the top of his lungs in padded room)

Fraser: "I sharpened my [hat] buckle."
Ray: "You anticipated cutting your way out of a rubber room?"
(Taking out sharpened buckle when they're both locked in a padded room)

Ray: "Why do I always have to be the fulcrum?"
Fraser: "Stop moving. You're dispersing the energy."
(Fraser using the poor detective as a fulcrum)

Fraser: "Although I saw the nurse type in the password, I didn't actually see it."
Ray: "Watching with your ears, were you?"

Fraser: "You know, my mother died when I was very young. I don't remember a lot about that time except... except my father's beard. I don't remember him crying or talking about her. I just woke up one morning and I noticed he had a beard, and it kept getting longer and longer, and he got thinner and he stopped going to work. My mother died, and my father stopped living... And then one morning, I woke up and there was a breakfast waiting for me at the table. Oatmeal and, uh, sliced banana. And he was clean shaven. And he was crying."
Walter: "Well, your dad was a very strong man."
Fraser: "He just woke up and the wind was from the south, and he found he still knew the difference between hawk and a handsaw."

Walter: "Hey, what's going on?"
Orderly: "They are not here."
Walter: "Who are you looking for?"
Doctor: "No one."
(Fraser and Ray are found)"
Walter: "Where are you taking them?"
Doctor: "Nowhere."
Walter: "You are taking them *somewhere*"
Doctor: "Look nothing is happening here."

Ray: "This neighborhood? Of course it's not safe. It's a slum. What kind of bozo comes up with a safety tip like that?"
Fraser: "The Mayor's Blue Ribbon Panel on Safety for Senior Citizens."
Ray: "Yeah, a bunch of do-gooders sitting around solving other people's problems sipping on cappuccinos."

"I'm dead, Fraser. These people are going to eat me alive."
(Ray, regarding talking to senior citizens)

"Where I come from the challenges are quite different. There are no drug dealers or pimps. Few thieves to bother with. There's only the environment and surviving in the face of it is the challenge of the Inuit. A mother gives birth somewhere out on a glacier field. Hundreds of miles from the nearest outpost. And she knows the odds are stacked against her son even living to see the spring. Disease or the lack of food, the elements...And even if he should survive and grow to be a boy she knows very well that all he has to do is lose his footing on the smooth surface of a glacier and that will be that. In other words, she knows that her son cannot live. So why should she try? Well, I know this woman. I helped deliver her son. She was weak and undernourished but the next morning she stood up and she picked her child up in her arms and, and she set out agaain into the blinding snow and I think...I think that was the single most courageous act I've ever seen."
(Fraser)

"You know, Ray, the aged are just like people...only, they're older."
(Fraser)

"This is what's wrong with you, Fraser. You see a problem and you have to fix it. You can't even go to the men's room without stopping to tell some simple stupid charmingly witty Inuit story that inspires people to take on the world's social ills."
(Ray griping to Fraser)

Fraser: "Oh boy. He's so embarrassed."
Ray: "It's hideous."
(Upon seeing poor Diefenbaker clad in crocheted outfit Gladys made for him)

"Do you know how many suits I've ruined frolicking in refuse for you?"
(Ray to Fraser, refusing to climb into dumpster)

Fraser: "Now son, that bat is important evidence in a criminal investigation, and we'd be most grateful if you'd cooperate."
Kid: "A hundred bucks!"
Fraser: "I see...Ray?"
Ray: "OK kid, can you spell penitentiary? Let's try it together, P...E...N..."
Kid: "OK here!"
Ray: "Scram!"
Kid: "Creep!"
(Fraser and Ray use different approaches to get a baseball bat from a child)

Fraser: "I think you'll be pleased to know that I've taken the liberty of officially reprimanding myself."
Welsh: "Good, good. Put it in the file with the rest of them."

Welsh: "You know, for once I'd like to have somebody besides a Mountie come in to my station and confess."

"You're not a mind-reader, Fraser. You're just a Canadian."
(Ray to Fraser)

"Come on, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll blurt out a spontaneous confession."
(Ray to Fraser)

"You know, Fraser, it's about time somebody told you. It's the little things like this that makes them not want you back across the border."
(Ray to Fraser when he destroyed evidence)

Ray: "All right, stand back and watch how we do things here in America. No neighborhood watch, no caring for your fellow man, just good old-fashioned intimidation."
Fraser: "You know, Ray. Your methods are a source of constant inspiration to me."
Ray: "Oh, well, thank you, Benny."
(Ray then kicks down door to apartment)

Fraser: "Ray. Gates."
Ray: "I know."
(And Ray drives his Buick right through the gates)

Fraser: "Ray. Sapling."
Ray: "Where?"
Fraser: "Twelve o'clock."
Ray: "Got it."
(Much to Fraser's dismay, Ray flattens the sapling with the Buick)

"Ok, but I shaved the Taffy out, didn't I?"
(Fraser to Dief)

Ray: "Fraser, what are you doing?"
Fraser: "Well, I thought I'd let him shoot me, Ray. All Mr. Colling has to do is shoot me, then he can shoot him [Steg]."
Ray: "Oh, as long as you got a plan."

Ray: "Good plan, Benny."
Fraser: "Well, actually I was kind of making it up as I went along, Ray."
Ray: "Oh, not you, Fraser."
Fraser: "Really."
Ray: "Oh, imagine that."

"Yo. Do you guys want to move it or do you want to find out what fine Italian footwear tastes like?"
(Ray to people in his way at police station)

"Do you know what your problem is, Fraser? You can't go around compulsively telling people the truth. They just don't want to hear it."
(Ray)

Ray: "There's got to be a hundred cars in this lot."
Fraser: "Unfortunately they're all reserved. I didn't realize Spiro Agnew's birthday was that widely celebrated... also I thought it was in November."
(Fraser, unaware of why no one will rent him a car)

"You know my mother had an affair with Spiro Agnew. It was all hushed up of course which is why they wouldn't let me in the secret service..."
(Ian MacDonald)

"Do not think of him as a human being. Think of him as a parcel that needs to be delivered and you will be okay."
(Ray to Fraser regarding Ian)

"Now in the care and operation of this vehicle there is one thing to remember and hold above all else. Never, I repeat, never use the lighter. Of all the original parts in this car it was the most difficult to replace it took me seven years to find that lighter and since I've owned it, it's never been depressed."
"Then how do you know it works?"
"I know in my soul."
(Ray and Fraser)

Ray: "Damn. I should have brought the snowchains! Do we really got to cross the border?"
Fraser: "Yes, Ray. Although you know I imagine they'll have a dogsled at the bridge in case we should get stuck." (tries to stifle laughter)
Ray: "See. That's some kind of facetious Canadian humor. The kind of thing that must really knock 'em dead up around the baithouse in New Foundland."
Fraser: (Fraser is dying) "Sorry, Ray."

"So, ok. At 95 mph how long would it take?"
"I can't tell you that. It would recklessly endanger the lives of thousands of motorists."
"OK, so say 90?"
(Ray and Fraser)

"Well, actually Ray the legal scholars seem to be fairly equally divided on this point. One argument extended to it's logical conclusion would provide that if you were traveling west at a rate of speed high enough to cross one time zone every hour then you would never have to feed the prisoner. That is of course until you crossed the international date line at which point you would have to force the prisoner to consume four meals. Now the contrary position... "
(Fraser)

"Isn't that what defensive driving is all about? Assuming that the other guy is going to do something stupid?"
(Ray to Fraser, regarding his own bad driving habits)

"Kilometers? Look, Fraser, when we cross the border you can start talking in Canadian. Until then, let's stick to English, okay?"
(Ray to Fraser)

"You know I know the guy that invented kilometers."
(Ian)

"Is this the original upholstery?"
(Ian, threatening Ray's Buick's back rest with dire consequences if they don't make a bathroom stop)

Ian: "This is it officer, right here. I don't know how it happened really. I mean, uh, one second he's fine the next thing ya know his throat just closed up on him. I got lucky because I managed to puke it up all over the table. Look, look, look, there's still pieces on the chair, right there! Sir, take off your pants. You're sitting in evidence there."
Fraser: "He's not telling the truth. No. We have no need for your pants."
(Fraser to tourist who's fleeing Ian in diner)

"Do you believe everything people tell you? Huh? How do you get through a day?"
"Did I tell you he was pulling your chain?"
"My mistake."
(Ian, Ray and Fraser)

"Nice folks, Canadians. You hear such stories."
(One uniformed cop to another)

"Ian: "Those guys are part of the Canadian mob. Ray: "There's no such thing."
Fraser: "On the contrary, Ray. Organized crime is a growing problem in Canada."
Ray: "Oh yeah. What are we talking about here? Conspiracy to commit jaywalking? Organized littering?"

"He took him into an alley and shot him eight times."
"So is that one time with eight bullets or eight separate times? Because in America, after the third trip down the same alley, we start to get a little suspicious."
(Ian and Ray)

"Mother Nature just *ate* my shoe!"
(Ray Vecchio)

"Let's go find my shoe."
"Uh, about your shoe..."
(Ray Vecchio, Benton Fraser)

"I bet he [Ian] used my lighter."
(Ray griping after Ian steals Buick)

Fraser: "I don't think she was sincere in her invitation, Ray. I mean, how could a young woman possibly be known by her first name in such a large city [Miami]?"
Ray: "Fraser, your father taught you nothing, you know that?"

"Fraser, look at me. I have one shoe, I am covered in mud, and I'm standing here with a wolf and a guy dressed like who knows what. No one in their right mind is going to stop and give us a lift without the treat of deadly force."
<car slows down.>
"You folks stranded, eh?"
"Canadian?"
"Go on, eh. How'd you know?"
(Ray and Canadian "tourists" )

Sick country you have, Fraser."
(Ray, after accepting lift from Canadian tourists)

"Fraser, if I'm ever in Sarnia, shoot me with a big gun."
(Ray to Fraser)

"You know Ray if you could lay down enough withering fire, I think I could make it to the car."
"I only got one bullet left."
"That's all we're gonna need."
"Yeah, if we can get 'em to line up straight."
(Fraser and Ray)

"Great. We'll be dead but they'll have real poor visibility."
(Ian to Ray regarding shooting out bad guy's windshield)

Fraser: "My father said something that's always stuck with me, Ray."
Ray: "You father never shut up, did he?"
Fraser: "He said a man with no future will always run to his past."
Ray: "And when did this come up, Fraser? Were you sitting around at breakfast when he came up with these things or did he come running into your room and just blurt 'em out?"
Fraser: "Ray, there's no need to be sarcastic."
Ray: "No. I'm just curious. How did he work these things into every day conversation? Did he say 'son, did you see the size of that moose, and by the way, a man with no future will always run to his past'?"

"Do you know what my father used to say? He said a man without a car is nothing, and I don't want to be nothing anymore, Fraser. It's hard on my socks!"
(Ray)

"When I was flipping through the service manual of your car, I discovered the gas tank is only 11 inches from your rear fender."
"You opened my manual?"
"Only for three seconds. Now one bullet surely can penetrate the tank and spark an explosion."
"I was right?"
"If you're lucky you'll both take that information to your grave."
(Fraser, Ray and Ian)

"There's two of them behind their car! Why can't I just shoot it?"
"Well, I didn't read *their* manual, Ray!"
(Ray and Fraser)

"Hey, don't blame me. I've never heard of your damned Maple Syrup day!"
(Ray)

Fraser: "Motorpool?"
(Ray is driving rent-a-wreck car)

Ray: "I thought we agreed not to talk about it?"
Fraser: "No, of course, of course. The loss of a loved one is always a shock."
Ray: "Fraser."
Fraser: "No, I'm sorry, Ray. But I do understand. You would be hard pressed to find a finer example of Detroit's automotive engineering than the 1971 Riviera."
Ray: "Enough! Okay? Enough. All right? You took the Riv. You drove it all over the countryside. You gave it to a convicted felon. You ran it into a ditch, and you forced me to blow it up. You've done enough."
Fraser: "Lives were saved, Ray."
Ray: "And yours was spared... I loved that car."

"Oh great. Is it safe now or should I wait for the cattle drive?"
(Ray to Fraser, after all the dogs run past his car)

"Hey, watch it, birdbrain!"
(Willie yelling at car that nearly hit him, not realizing Ray and Fraser are in it)

"So the wolf and his friends got a little frisky? Can't we settle it without going through all that nasty and time-consuming paperwork?"
(Ray to Officer Benedict regarding Dief)

"I don't know, Fraser. For some reason wolves don't share their innermost thoughts with me."
(Ray)

Fraser: "That would be bribery."
Willie/Ray: "Right."
(Ray and Willie want to bribe Animal Control officer to release Dief)

"That's a popular misconception Ray. Wolves only kill when they're ravenous and their preferred prey is large hooved animals. I don't see how Mrs. Pumputis' Pekinese can bear a passing resemblance to a caribou, even if it was wearing shoes."
(Fraser to Ray, defending a maligned Dief)

"Oh com'on they're dogs. They're suppose to knock over trash cans."
"Thirty-seven trash cans all in a row?"
"So they got excited."
"So did the sanitation engineer, and I didn't notice either of you carrying him to the hospital."
"He weighed 300 pounds, and besides all he did was faint."
(Willy and Fraser)

"He's going to tell the truth. We're dead."
(Willie to Ray regarding Fraser in court)

"What we have here is a wild animal living in an apartment. By your admission, has bitten more than one individual and is responsible for killing at least one other animal. This is not Lassie... Order the animal be put to sleep."
(Judge Sherman to a stunned Fraser)

"This is America. Land of the lengthy appeal. I can tie this case up for years faster than you can say Judge Wapner."
(Ray to Elaine)

Fraser: "Willie's in danger, Ray."
Ray: "From what? Diefenbaker?"
[Fraser shows Ray the bandage on his wrist from where Dief bit him]
Ray: "Oh my god."

"You know I was thinking today about that time when you pulled me from the sound and uh,.... I know I never really..... You did want to come here didn't you? I just took it for granted. I know I never discussed it, but..... I would hate to think that you came here and stayed here all of this time just out some kind of misplaced sense of duty. You wouldn't do that would you? Yeah, I didn't think you would."
(Fraser)

"Aw come on, man! This isn't Canada!"
(Willie Lambert)

"If you were hungry, why didn't you say something? I did bring sandwiches, you know."
(Willie Lambert)

Fraser: "[to Dief] "You know, you could have told me about this. It's not as though we're complete strangers. I think she seems to be a very good choice."
Ray: "That's what this is about? He's got a girlfriend?"
Fraser: "Well, actually it's a little more complicated than that, Ray. This dog is with child."

Yeah, that's nice kid, but try not to get the wolf hairs on my clothes."
(Ray to kid holding one of Dief's pups)

Fraser: "Perhaps I'm reading too much into matters but it would appear that you're doing this on purpose."
Ray: "Ah, it really annoys you, doesn't it?"
Fraser: "I just don't think it's very safe."
(Regarding Ray's irritating habit of not using turn signals on the Buick)

Ray: "I guess you two [Fraser & Dief] don't meet a lot of celebrities?"
Fraser: "Well, we were inspected by the Assistant to the Deputy Commissioner of the RCMP once."
Ray: "Oh that must have been pretty special."
Fraser: "Hmmmm."
Ray: "I meet celebrities every day and you can't make a big deal of it."
Fraser: "Really like who?"
Ray: "Plenty of celebrities. Big celebrities. Lou Ferrigno for one. Point is that they are people just like you and me only they're a lot richer, nastier and more obnoxious. Lou now he's a prince, but the others....."
(Ray and Fraser)

"Hey, hey. You're slobbering all over the upholstery. I just got this car. What are you safety dog?"
"It's not your driving habits....look, look!"
"What--is a crime going down?! Dispatch, this is Det. Vecchio..."
"It's Mark Smithbauer."
"You want me to report a hockey player?"
"He's a very big fan."
"Well, yeah, what does he want, his autograph?"
"You stay here, I'll get it for you. He'd only embarrass himself."
"You gotta be kidding me."
(Ray and Fraser)

Ray: "This guy must be pulling down seven figures and playing one of the stupidest sports ever invented. Every time I pick up the paper, he's whining about his knee, complaining about this, moaning about that."
Fraser: "Hockey is a very demanding sport, Ray."
Ray: "Oh, give me a break. I was just being polite calling it a sport. You know what hockey's like? Hockey is like figure skating with clubs."
(Discussion regarding Mark Smithbauer and the sport of hockey)

Huey: "The man called in attempted murder."
Ray: "The man has a serious ego problem."
(Regarding Smithbauer)

"Do you see a Winnebago around that looks larger than most single family dwellings?"
(Henderson to Fraser, pointing out where Smithbauer is)

"Has anyone ever told you that you have phenomenal bone structure?"
"Yes. A starving Inuit."
(Dawn Charest, Benton Fraser)

"Well, if we arrested everyone who hated you we'd pretty much have to shut down the city."
(Louis to Smithbauer)

Fraser: "No. You're wrong, Ray. I know this man."
Ray: "You knew this man. People change, Fraser."
Fraser: "Not who you are."
Ray: "Lots of things change people. Success. Money. The city."
(Regarding Smithbauer taking money to throw game)

"One more thing: my card. I really could do wonderful things with you."
(Dawn Charest)

"Grace loves the opera, but she can't afford to sit close."
"Yeah, but she's deaf."
"That doesn't mean that she can't enjoy good music."
"Really? Oh, I thought it did."
(Fraser and Ray)

Fraser: "Thank you very much."
Ray: (yelling) "Yes, Thank you vary much!!"
Grace: (signing) "Your friend is an idiot."
(Fraser and Ray get Grace's help in viewing the hockey tape.)

"Brand new paint job! Waxed and detailed! Do you have any idea what windows for a Buick Riviera cost?!"
(Ray shouting at Fraser as bad guys shoot up the Riv)

"Officer in pursuit of black Cadillac in pursuit of two guys on ice skates. Why is that so hard to believe?"
(Ray to radio dispatcher)

"They say that every man has a price at which he'll do anything. I'd like to think it's the other way around. Every man has a line - a line he won't cross over, no matter what the cost."
(Robert Fraser)

Behan: "He did volunteer for this, didn't he?"
Ray: "Oh, absolutely, Father. You know how it is with Mounties. Any excuse to burst into song."
(Ray lures Fraser into joining church choir)

Ray: "Oh God. Sorry, Father." (swore in church) Behan: "That is your sister, isn't it?" (sees Francesca) Ray: "Uh, yes, it is, Father."
Behan: "Oh God."

"So I was having my nails done the other day when it hits me like a ton of bricks. This guy is never going to come to you, Francesca. Ha! Nothing that good ever comes to you. The way I see it is - you want the best, you gotta take it."
(Fraser sings louder)
"So I say to myself, 'Ask him out.' To which I reply, 'What if it goes badly?' 'What if we go out to dinner and I have like food stuck between my teeth and he turns off to me or something?' So then I say, 'Ask him out for drinks.' But then I remember - he's a Mountie, stupid. He doesn't drink. I mean sure it's dark in the movie theater and everything , but there could be people around and......ya da da. So the way I see it is, why do we have to play these games? I mean, we're both adults. We both know what we want. So...(ahem)... "
<choir stops singing>
"...you wanna have sex?"
"Oh darn! Excuse me!"
(Franny to Fraser)

Ray: "Hey, Elaine. Get me a list of all the salmon fisheries in the greater metropolitan area, will you?"
Elaine: "What?"
Fraser: "Never mind, Elaine. I believe Ray was just mocking me."
Ray: "Ah yes, I was."
Welsh: "I have to ask you this. Don't you have a job of your own?"
Fraser: "Oh, yes sir. But I had the early shift this morning."
Welsh: "And you have nothing better to do with your life than hang around here and help us solve crimes?"
Fraser: "No sir."

"We had a schoolyard bully in Tuktoyaktuk once. Sometimes at night I can still remember him coming into the classroom, swinging that otter over his head. There was just no reasoning with him."
(Benton Fraser)

"And I thought we had nothing in common."
(Ray to Fraser, about school bullies)

"Bindlestitch."
"You know, you've gotta stop swearing in Eskimo."
(Benton Fraser, Ray Vecchio)

"I see logic is not one of your hobbies."
(Benton Fraser)

Ray: "Well, now what? We go up and down Diversey until we find freshly soled shoes?"
Fraser: "Yes."

"You mean to tell me you have no recollection of any shoe-related elf stories?"
"Ray, I would tell you if I did."
(Ray and Fraser)

Fraser: "We would like to ask you a question that is unrelated to either underwear or breasts...Ray, maybe you should conduct this interview."
Ray: "It's molded plastic, Benny. It's not going to lunge out at you."
Fraser: "You mean this? [points to mannequin] Well, if you think I'm embarrassed, you're sorely mistaken."
Ray: "Oh yeah, that's why you're turning the color of your uniform."
Fraser: "Don't be ridiculous. It's just hot in here, that's all."
(Discussion after Fraser bumps into scantily clad mannequin and nearly dies of embarrassment)

Ray: "How do you get away with that?" [staring at a woman's bosom] Fraser: "With what?"
Ray: "You know damn well with what."
Francesca: "Forgive me, Father, for what I am about to do."
Priest: (sighs) "This isn't about the Mountie again, is it?"

Fraser: "That's an old scar."
Elaine: "How'd you get it? Fraser: "I'd rather not say...... Someone struck me with a sea otter."
Elaine: "I guess that's what happens in a country with gun control."
Fraser: "Oh, I believe he shot the otter first."
Elaine: "That's just cruel."
Fraser: "Uh yes, but you see, strictly speaking he did adhere to the law because swinging a live otter is illegal in the Territories."
Elaine: "Ah."
Fraser: "Indeed."
Elaine: "So there's nothing the police could do about it?"
Fraser: "No, although they did change the law, after that, uh, incident."
Elaine: "Good thing."
Fraser: "It's a very good thing."

"Don't!"
"Don't what. Don't tell? Is that what you want. You want to make a deal with me. Alright, here's the deal. You call off the hit on Joey Paducci. You let him open up a shop and you leave him alone. You do that and this never happened. It's just between you, me and the basketball."
"You go to hell."
"You go to what? Did you tell me to go to hell? Is that what you said. That's a shame cuz. Cause this deal is only good till I get to the door."
"Deal."
(Zuko and Ray)

"When I took him in, his eyes were pure hatred. As the door to the prison slammed shut behind me, I can still hear his voice and the words he spit out at me, 'I'll find you Fraser if it's the last thing I do. I'll track you down and kill you wherever you go.' That night in my cabin I lay there and thought about fear and what it does to a man. How it eats his insides out and takes the best from him. I listen to the wind make the ice flows creak outside and the wolves bay and a thousand other sounds of the winter night. And as I listen to my heart beat, I released the fear inside me little by little until it was no longer there. And then I closed my eyes and slept soundly until morning."
(Robert Fraser, journal entry)

"Don't be afraid."
(Francesca to Fraser in his apartment, after boldly entering and dropping coat to expose flimsy outfit)