Classic Quotes

"Gomer get down there with them spiders!" - Barney

"There ain't no gold. And don't be hanging around when that truck comes through." - Barney

"Fly a quail through here and every one of 'em would point." (Barney at Mrs. Wiley's party)

"We thought about killing him, kind of hated to go that far." - Briscoe Darlin

"It's not a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear." - Barney

"Man gets his best suit spotted and pressed, spends two hours polishing his hat, and for what? Heartaches!" - Barney

"...and I ain't been moonshinin' since...aw, um, at least so's you could notice." - Rafe Hollister

"Pa, just what can you do with a grown woman?" - Opie

"Like they always say...the quality of mercy is not strained, it droppeth like a gentle dew from Heaven...well, you're not talking to a jerk you know!" - Barney

"We defy the Mafia!!!" - Barney

"And quit hollerin' at yourself in that looking glass." - Andy

"I reckon' the cellar would be downstairs." - Gomer

"Boy, giraffes are selfish! Always running around, getting hit by lightning, looking out for number one..." - Barney

"I wish we had a psychiatrist in town; I bet Barney would be a real study." - Andy

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to work with someone who thinks he knows everything?" - Barney

"And get that gun out of your mouth!" - Andy


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