"You want" = You want
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"You're ... so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" = I'm on my period.
"Be Romantic, turn out the lights." = I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
"Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like.
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me!?" = Too late, you're dead.
"Yes" = No
"No" = No
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry." = You'll be sorry.
"Do you like this recipe?" = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
"I'm not yelling!" = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
"All we're going to buy is a soap dish" = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
"The same old thing" = Nothing
"Nothing" = Everything
"Everything" = My PMS is acting up
"Nothing, really" = It's just that you're such an asshole
