Stuff I've Learned

I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, no proof, to destroy it.

I've learned- that it's not what you have in your life but how much you have in your bank accounts.

I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they're more screwed up than you think.

I've learned- you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.

I've learned- that you can keep puking long after you think you 're finished.

I've learned- that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down - will be the ones who do.

I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean you can't take advantage of them when they're passed out and naked in your bed.

I've learned- that your family won't always be there for you.. Of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw-up, the missing one and the horse tooth girl will more than be there for "you".

I've learned- that we don't have to ditch bad friends. Their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned- that two people can screw the exact same person and compare notes.

I've learned- that overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.

I've learned- that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.

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