On auld Lange syne night,
Jessica's the jest of honor

Source: New York Daily News
Date: April 19th, 2006

If Jessica Lange thought the Film Society of Lincoln Center tribute to her was going to be all kiss-kiss, she had another thing coming Monday night.

The Oscar winner ended up having to listen to friends recite her short-comings — lovingly, of course. Full-figured Kathy Bates came onstage with skinny Joan Allen, explaining that "for this evening's gala performance, Ms. Allen will play the toothpick, and I will play the olive." Allen observed that most people think the politically earnest Lange has no sense of humor. "Remember that time in the makeup room [on 'Bonneville'] when she told us not to buy from Exxon because their profits were too high?" Allen asked.
They feigned uncontrollable laughter. "She's a laugh riot!" shrieked Allen.
Alan Cumming argued that Lange could be funny — by remarking on her bustline.
Shooting a scene in "Titus" where they lay together naked, he recalled telling her, "I don't know what you're talking about Jessica, you've got fantastic tits."
She countered, "Please, if your hand weren't there that thing would be halfway round my back."

Lange's longtime lover, playwright Sam Shepard, said a journalist asked him recently if there were any similarities between Bob Dylan and Jessica Lange, since they're both from Minnesota. "Honesty and courage," said Shepard. "Also, neither of them can sing a lick. … She'll be the first to admit she can't carry a melody line." Shepard recalled that when she was lip-synch¬ing during "Sweet Dreams," she asked director Karen Reisz, "Is there a way I can sing at the top of my lungs and you turn up Patsy [Cline] real high so you can't hear me singing?"

Also at the gala was Lange's former flame, ballet god Mikhail Baryshnikov. He danced with their daughter, Shura Alexandra, and Lange took the floor for a sexy tango with Joan Allen.

Amy Madigan said Lange's "Sweet Dreams" co-star, Ed Harris couldn't make it because "our helper/nanny person just totaled my car and quit. So Ed's home with the kids."

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