©Copyright CJ Magro, Paratroopers of the 50's
"Thanks to Richard Rutherford"
We have some excellent satires about Paratroopers of the 40's - 50's Era,

So you WANNABE a Paratrooper
The Paratroopers' Prayer

Dick, joined the 11th Airborne in 1948, went to Japan, and then to Ft Campbell. When the 187tn RCT was formed in 1950, he went to Korea, and made both combat jumps.

So you think you want to be a Paratrooper eh? 

Well here's a tip, -- friend.
We Parachute Troops are the best in the world, and if you are going to join our family you'll have to step fast and quick.

Take a good look at yourself, Bud, -- buttons all buttoned? -- Boots shined -- Uniform neat? Is your hair cut or do you need a shave? how about those shoulders? Come on square them off; suck in that gut -- chin up.

Now listen friend now  -- listen with open ears
Double time Your gonna double time until you are blue in the face -- you can't quit -- you can't lay down -- so go ahead   fall on your face !!

They will just stand you up and run you some more!!

Can you climb a rope? Yea, Well you just think you can .
You'll climb a rope thirty feet high -- your arms will cramp ,
your fingers will freeze -- you can't possibly climb another foot ;
but they will drive you on -- and brother,

will make it, the boys will fall by the wayside .

Say Jack -- take a tip, if you're not sure you really want to be a
Paratrooper, speak up now , before you take up your time and
OUR time, too.

Rope climbing
You will be process in the area. (everyone calls this the
Frying -Pan Area -- because it's as hot as a frying pan in the summer). Today or tomorrow the Medics will get you. If you pass the pill rollers then you'll know your physical condition will pass the strain. Then next will be the officers board --
if you pass them you'll know some damn good soldiers think you LOOK LIKE you might make a Paratrooper;
(if your chute opens)
Yea, they'll tell you it always opens -- yea -- well, listen Jack -- I've seen em ride streamers down -- all the way -- screaming until they hit with a deadening thump -- did you ever throw a dead cow off the back of a wagon? Know that sound?  Well -- you might hear it -- but you never feel it.

That's a good way to look at it Bud -- if you hit hard enough -- you'll never feel it !!Splat

You should have known Mike -- Mike jumped ahead of me had his static line Under his arm instead of OVER his shoulder -- his chute opened -- but only after it had pulled all the meat and muscle off his left arm !! 
So Jack  -- before I sign off -- think it over -- its not a bed of roses -- and you can count on a one-way ticket back to where you came from if you don't make it.

I've seen many go up to jump and come down like a feather, right in the seat of the plane -- why? Just because they haven't got the guts to be one of the family. Think it over , Bud -- it's not too late to quit now -- and maybe you'll wish you had.
If you make the grade -- you'll hold the highest respect and rub shoulders with the BEST MEN in the world.

Good look Trooper !!! ------ A Friend.

The Paratrooper's Prayer

OUR ALMIGHTY FATHER: who dwelleth in Washington, immersed in Service Records, Requisitions, T.S. Slips, Red Tape and other impedimenta which surroundeth the Army, both in times of Peace and in times of War, Hallowed be thy name.

Give us this day our partial pay, and forgive us our Company Bills. Guide us on the path of righteousness by thy all knowing Articles of War,  rules and regulations. Approve our passes and Furloughs for thou knoweth ours is not an easy lot to bear without leisure time.

Deliver us from the hands of our non-jumping enemies, for thou knoweth our burdens are manifold , Yea, even though by Divers devices these yellowed - livered Sons of Satan, these gutless washouts from thy Parachute School, after having been thrice beaten about the head with a shot-bag, allowed to don the hated Cap and Belt of the Gestapo, they falsely cry that they are thy Chosen Children. We cannot contain ourselves in their presence and Assaults and Mayhem shall abound.

Guide our pleasure-bent footsteps from the lower regions of Sin and Iniquity, known locally as Phenix City, lest we should go astray and contact certain social uncleanliness which thou so forcefully described in thy Sex Hygiene Training Film.

Unhook not our static lines, nor yet blow  panels in our canopies. Cut not our break cords, and drift us clear of cactus hill. Strike with relentlessly swift and horrible death the Company Clerk who Redlineth our Payroll, and the Mess Sergeant who robbeth our empty bellies.

By the ghosts of all those who preceded us to the Frying Pan, and the Alabama Area, We Pray thee ......... AMEN.

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