The Great Weird Al Word Count


Searched for "of":

Found 148 occurrences (note).

Song Count
"Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota"

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming.
We wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota."
They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Pulled out of the driveway, and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye.
And all of us were joined together in one common thought,
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Of course, we stopped for more pickled wieners now and then.
But you can't see out of the side of the car because the windows are completely covered
The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock,
And the Mecca of Albino Squirrels.
And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree.
Oh, the kids were so happy, they started singing "Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day.
On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Ohhh, what on Earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing.
Ohhh, windin' up twenty-one thousand one hundred forty pounds of string.
I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car, and we can take it home."
Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line, bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine,
'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
'Cause I've been all around this great big world and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to
Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.


Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Kinda lost my train of thought
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours

"Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From a Planet Near Mars"

Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
There's a team of research scientists.
I hope they get these lousy rodents out of my town,
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
and they're not that fond of Burger Kings or salad bars.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
And there's one the size of Central Park.
Well don't waste any more of your bullets, boys.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters

"Your Horoscope For Today"

There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely true.
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

"Jerry Springer"

And date the boyfriend of her mother
They have a history of ripping off their shirts
Male Guest : All of them
Jerry's the king of confrontation
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
I have a history of taping each one
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer


Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin
They're inside of me
They're inside of me
They're inside of me
Over every part of me
It kind of upsets me

"The Hot Rocks Polka"

A glass of wine in her hand.
I'm a man of wealth and taste.
'Cause what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.
I said hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud.
Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud.
Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud.

"Pretty Fly for a Rabbi"

Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip

"Grapefruit Diet"

Every picture of me's
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears
I need a side order of onion rings

"It's All About the Pentiums"

I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K [Y-two-K]
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?

"Spatula City"

A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.
at a fraction of retail cost?
And this weekend only, take advantage of our special liquidation sale.
And what better way to say, "I love you" than with the gift of a spatula.
"Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City.

"Isle Thing"

One of 'em called Gilligan said, "Let's name it after me!"
If I was one of them castaways, I think I'd probably kill him.
He could build a nuclear reactor from a couple of coconuts.
Then her mom came in the room. It was kind of embarrassing.

"Polka Power!"

Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight
There's lots of pretty, pretty ones

"The Weird Al Show Theme"

Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of sour cream
Twenty miles below the surface of the Earth (of the Earth)
When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man

"Generic Blues"

And a herd of wild pigs is tryin' to chew off my head.
I was born in a paper sack, in the bottom of a sewer.
snivelling, grovelling worthless hunk of slime.
turkey-necked, weasel-faced worthless hunk of slime.

"Truck Drivin' Song"

Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn
I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel
Got these eighteen wheels-a-rollin' until the break of dawn


Think of expiration, better read the label now (Oh boy)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat
Spam in the back of my car (Ham and pork)

"The Saga Begins"

Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
A lot of folks were croakin'

"Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies"

When all of a sudden, right up from the ground there,


We gonna make a couch potato out of you.

"She Drives Like Crazy"

In the middle of the Interstate.

"My Baby's In Love with Eddie Vedder"

But my girl can't get enough of his sullen demeanor

Matching Songs 22
Album Count
Running with Scissors 84
UHF (and Other Stuff) 64
Matching Albums 2

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Note: Due to fade-outs at the end of some of Al's songs and such, the word counts per song are not guaranteed to be 100% correct. The matching songs and matching albums counts, however, should be correct.

I wanna know how many times Weird Al's said in his songs.

 All albums
 "Weird Al" Yankovic
 In 3-D
 Dare to Be Stupid
 Polka Party
 Even Worse
 UHF (and Other Stuff)
 Off The Deep End
 Bad Hair Day
 Running With Scissors
 Poodle Hat
 Straight Outta Lynwood
 Alpocalypse (coming soon!)
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