Lee was: the Incarnation  ! 
Answered on: 29 Oct 2003

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise,
> 
> Why won't my team leader talk to me?
> 
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I could tell you, of course, but sometimes a voyage of self-discovery
} is better for your psyche.  Try this quiz.
} 
}              *** Why won't my team leader talk to me? ***
} 
} 1) Did you shower this morning?
} 
}    a) Yes.
}    b) No.
}    c) Not since I clawed my way out of the ground.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, perhaps you have a
}    personal hygiene issue.  Do people tend to make excuses to get away
}    from you and/or stop breathing around you?  If so, go take a long
}    shower, scrub well, and use some deodorant for crying out loud!  If
}    c, you are a zombie.  People will flee in terror wherever you go,
}    not just your team leader.  I'm afraid you'll have to stick with with
}    corresponding stricly via the Internet with people that don't know
}    you died.
} 
} 2) Look around your place of business.  What do you see?
} 
}    a) Nothing unusual.
}    b) Everyone and their stuff is gone.
}    c) Smoke and flames.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, your company has gone
}    out of business or moved.  If they didn't tell you, perhaps your
}    pink slip got lost in the mail.  If c, your building is on fire.
}    Find the nearest exit and use it.  Proceed to your designated
}    gathering place so your team leader can check your name off.  (He
}    might have a few choice words for you as well.)
} 
} 3) Ask some co-workers if your team leader is on vacation.  What do
}    they say?
} 
}    a) No.
}    b) Yes.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, find out who's supposed
}    to fill in for him.  If it's you, either wait for him to return or
}    sit down and discuss the matter with yourself, depending on how
}    urgent it is.
} 
} 4) Is your team leader awake?
} 
}    a) Yes, I think so.
}    b) No.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, decide whether your
}    career is worth waking him up.
} 
} 5) Did you recently get new eyewear?
} 
}    a) No.
}    b) Yes.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, that's not your team
}    leader you're trying to talk to, it's a plant.  Go discuss your new
}    lenses at the place of purchase, but let someone else drive you
}    there.
} 
} 6) Is your team leader holding his hands over his ears and shouting,
}    "la, la, la I can't hear you"?
} 
}    a) No.
}    b) Yes.
} 
}    If a, proceed to the next question.  If b, he's finally had a mental
}    breakdown.  Call an ambuluance.
} 
} 7) Did you recently sleep with your team leader's wife?
} 
}    b) Yes.
}    a) No.
} 
}    If a, he's just found out and is seething with rage.  He's about to
}    say a hell of a lot of things to you while he pummels you into a
}    blob of goo.  Get out while you can.  If b, you probably just said
}    something horribly stupid and he's trying to be tactful and not
}    laugh in your face.  Give me a few moments and he'll recover.
}