Parody of "Nuttin' for Christmas"
Original music and lyrics by S. Tepper and R. Bennett
New lyrics by Lee K. Seitz (December 2010)
CHORUS:
I'm gettin' felt up for Christmas
I opted out of the scan
I'm gettin' felt up for Christmas
And now I've been touched by the Man
I'm flying for the holidays
Somebody's groping me
I haven't flown since '98
Somebody's groping me
I didn't know you can't have ink
Gel shoe inserts or a drink
All forbidden but the kitchen sink
Somebody's groping me
CHORUS
Radiation is the pits
Somebody's groping me
And naked pics I'll not permit
Somebody's groping me
It's not like I had a gun
Plastic explosives by the ton
Just some clippers and a stick of gum
Somebody's groping me
CHORUS
So know the rules, whatever you do
'Cause if you don't, I'm warning you,
You'll get felt up for Christmas