I did it. I saw them suffering and went out of my way to get them the medication they needed and merely followed the directions on the package... but it was still me. I pull up a chair and watch them sporadically darting back and forth, hoping for a pellet or two. I, of course, am more than happy to feed them. They swim up and take them from my fingers, as they've always done. I smile and decide that feeders are the wrong way to go. No telling where they've been.
This isn't the first set of fish I've kept. Before these guys I had one of the most widely discouraged combination of fish around. There was a convict cichlid, a tiger barb, a bronze corydoras catfish, and a rainbow cichlid. Now every book tells me they can't live together. It all says they will end up killing eachother. Well they didn't kill eachother for a year and a half, but a very sudden drop in temp did. I was heartbroken and felt very stupid. The water froze, turning them to fish-cicles. But I learned not to trust friends when transporting fish. We all figure that out at some point.
I've made mistakes and will continue to do so. I started this hobby on an impulse at a thrift store and ended up with six different tanks of various size... and I'm not through yet. Now I watch my oscars swimming back and forth and say to myself, this is what it's all about. It's not about how cool they look or how many other fish they can kill, it's about being able to watch nature.
I depend on my fish as much as they depend on me, and I think, this is why we all do this.