Coaching

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Terry, my apologies
From: Coe CWCJr <cwcjunior@juno.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2000 22:32:00 -0500

I did not catch that I had set archiving on for this conference when I set it up.

Do you have copies you are willing to repost?

While just one opinion among many, I hope this information was helpful...
Coe

**Not associated with Franklin Covey**
FQ DayPlanner:'92 Ascend/FPS (4.0-6.1/7.1):'93 PPPro:'97 2MB/IR Upgrade '99
I can also be found hanging around the sites listed and hotlinked in my profile.
I retain the Copyright to all my posts and emails. Copyright Myths exposed.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: No biggie...
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 13 Sep 2000 06:59:00 -0500

I do have copies... If you like I can repost them. Let me know.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: No biggie...
From: Coe CWCJr <cwcjunior@juno.com>
Date: Wed, 13 Sep 2000 20:31:00 -0500

That is up to you, Terry.

They are very definitely personal and I did appreciate your posting them.

Coe

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 1
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:43:00 -0500

10/4/1999 2:11 PM
- Create goals that are directly aligned with a role (ie: Mission > Value (why) > Role > Task)
- Take time on the weekend to review the important items that relate to the roles and place them on the Compass and allocate time, putting first things first. (Schedule time to do effective weekly planning.)

10/11/1999 10:41 AM
- Meeting postponed, Steve is ill

10/18/1999 6:15 PM
- Meeting postponed, Steve is ill. Spoke w/Sylvia (ext: 77363) and voiced my opinion about the delays and missing 3 of 4 sessions with my coach. She said that she will look to see if another coach is available.

11/2/1999 5:58 PM
- Discussed the focus of closing the gap with values, roles and goals. Looking to create a situation where I can be a better leader with preparedness.
- We will start with the Mastery book, Habit 1. (Complete this section before Monday. E-mail the answers to Jesse.) The goal is to walk through the structure of the individual habits and review all the issues as we examine each habit.
- Tonights session was mainly a get-to-know-you discussion.
- Need to reschedule 18-Jan to earler in the day!

Follow-up (Week 1):
Habit 1 - Be proactive / Level of responsibility, scale 1-10
> Health & Fitness: 5
> Finances: 4
> Work/Manager: 8
> Work/Projects: 6
> Family: 4
> Time: 7
> Happiness: 8
> Emotional Health: 8
> Other/Golf: 5
"Why do I take responsibility for certain areas but not others?"
> Well, I don't believe that this is really the case for me. My wife and I have decided not to have a family and I find that I have more time and money for other things. However, much of my time is not spent wisely... in other words, I feel as if I'm not doing very well with my time management.
> I gave myself a 7 for Time, but that is a reflection of how I feel I do with taking responsibility for my time. It doesn't reflect how well I manage my time. I would like to see better time management as well as task management with this.
> Finances are another story. I just don't bother watching this close enough to do what I need to do. If I spent more than just an hour, twice per month to pay bills... I might find this to be more productive. As of this moment I am creating a monthly task called "Budget Review" to help with this.
> Overall I have found that I don't manage my time effectively. During the week, my work forces me to be a fire-fighter at times, which leaves me with limited access to my own projects.
> Personally I have made goals with my Golf game to reduce my scores. This past season was a breakthrough for me. I targeted a level of play and achieved it. During this off-season, I am trying to do the same. My wife and I have a regular practice session every week.
> In my perception, I am about as far from REactive as I can be right now. Unfortunately, I can't improve this until I start managing my time better. Then I can become more proactive.

11/9/1999 5:49 PM
- Circle of influence versus circle of concern; what is the driving factor? Does the circle of concern create a reactive structure.
- See page 24's checklist to work on building a foundation for Habits to improve.
- Increase the Circle of influence! Make the effort to examine the circle to understand how well we are doing with managing the influence... and where the impact is.
- Need to take the time to evaluate the circle and determine where the influence is; what the influence is; who is influenced; how they are influenced; and how to improve the circle.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 2
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:44:00 -0500

Follow-up (Week 2):
I started an exercise to evaluate my circle. I took a blank sheet of
paper and wrote down three columns. WHO; WHERE; WHAT. Under each column I
noted this information; WHO is part of the circle. I listed those included
in the circle by grouping people, or other entities that I have impact on. A
general statement of each group. WHERE is the impact. I listed the
individual persons or entities that are part of the circle. A more specific
understanding. WHAT is the impact. More like a, how do I impact issue.
Strangely enough, this turned out to be my ROLES.

WHO WHERE WHAT (Role)
Management professionals 4 companies directly Consultant
I/S professionals 15+ companies indirectly
Software/PC users Unknown # of people

Wife One person Companion

Everyone Everywhere Facilitator

Employees 1 company Manager
100 employees

Residents 40 households Volunteer
1 neighborhood
Software/PC users Unknown # of people

The workbook does not state that this exercise needs to be done, however I
did it to see what my circle of influence was. It just so happened that as I
worked through the details, I tied the entire circle to every role I have
defined. It was a great use of time to define the explicit roles. It is also
where I found my epiphany.

I realized that my circle is too big. And the possibility of increasing it
seems to increase the complications of the time problems. So I come to this
conclusion. Don't react, be proactive with influence and the results will be
positive. Improving the results does not require increasing the Circle of
Influence. It could mean decreasing or shrinking into a manageable state.
And that's the direction I need to head, so I can feel more in control of my
day-to-day life.

11/16/1999 5:32 PM
- Do I really want to reduce my Circle of Influence?
- Maybe it's better just to manage it, and leave it alone... no logic to understand why.
- There is an understanding that the "Circle of Control" may just need some TLC for managing the day-to-day issues to make sure things are not becoming overwhelming. Watch & learn how this circle is influenced each week/day to see if the foundation needs attention.
- Share how I approach the planning, and see if there are new tools or habits than can be utilized.
- Also include how well I follow-through and what results I am getting from the planning
- A complete weekly view of what I'm doing and how I am doing

Sunday: I spent 3 hours working on my Weekly Planning. Normally I only spend less than an hour. This week I took time to review and define my Circle of Influence to see if my role have been defined correctly. I looked at what I needed to accomplish this week and moved my tasks accordingly. During the normal span of time I will review my tasks on occasion, or create new ones. When this happens and I'm not going to get to them, I'll push them to the following Monday. Then when I plan my week, I move them to the appropriate days of that week. Too many times in the past I would overload my week/days and constantly forward tasks. I'm slowly getting better at this, and don't overload my days as much. There are no items moved from the Master Task list.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 2
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:53:00 -0500

Monday: I arrive at work and review the tasks listed for the day. I determine that I have overloaded the day and move some tasks to other days this week. I spend 15 minutes on the FC website to review any postings that may be interesting or helpful, then 15 minutes to review/prioritize. As usual, Monday is busy and focusing on a specific task is difficult. Of the tasks listed; 1 forwarded as overload; 3 forwarded as in-process/incomplete; 5 completed.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 3
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:45:00 -0500

Tuesday: Tuesdays are normally a better day for me to catch up from Monday. I review the tasks for today and determine that I am overloaded again. I spend 15 minutes on the FC website to review any postings that may be interesting or helpful, then 15 minutes to review/prioritize. Of the tasks listed; 1 forwarded as overload (different task than Monday); 3 forwarded as in-process/incomplete; 3 tasks completed.
Wednesday: Wednesdays are catch-as-catch-can, where I typically schedule departmental meetings. I review the tasks today and even add a few. None are forwarded due to overload. I spend 15 minutes on the FC website to review any postings that may be interesting or helpful, then 15 minutes to review/prioritize. Over the course of the day, one task takes much longer than expected and fighting fires becomes priority. Between the fires, I don't get much done. By the end of the day, I've forwarded one task as overload and 3 as in-process/incomplete; 2 tasks completed.
Thursday: Thursdays are usually the day I get for myself. Usually quiet, usually productive. Today I have one special Marketing meeting. I review the tasks today and add a couple of items that should take only moments to complete. I spend 15 minutes on the FC website to review any postings that my be interesting or helpful, then 15 minutes to review/prioritize. In the end, another day of firefighting... forwarded 1 task as overload and 2 as in-process/incomplete; 3 tasks completed.
Friday: Cleanup day. I focus on getting tasks completed and off my plate. Including stuff that has piled on my desk. I like leaving the office on Friday with a clean desk. I spend 15 minutes on the FC website to review any postings that my be interesting or helpful, then 15 minutes to review/prioritize.This morning, I forward no tasks due to overload. Should be a productive day. Turns out not to be as productive as I like, there is a lot of firefighting. I completed 2 tasks, forwarded 2 tasks due to scheduling issues, and forward 2 more for lack of time.
Saturday: I have an opportunity to dial in to the office and complete 2 forwarded tasks from Friday. However I spend most of the rest of my time being lazy because I have caught a cold.

On 11/23/99 6:28:50 AM, Fred Gericke wrote:
>Terry,
>Could you give me an idea of
>what makes up the 2 or 3 tasks
>you complete in a day and what
>is the amount of time you
>devote to each. I feel I am
>overloading my day with tasks
>and could use some helpful
>tips.
>Fred Gericke
>

I would be glad to...

First I would like to state that anytime I mark a task as in-process/incomplete, it means that I spent time on that task, but never finished.

Anytime Weekly planning shows up, I make sure I complete that task. I always pays to be prepared and know what to expect. On Monday, I worked on many items, not to finish them. The couple of items completed were nothing more than personal items that took 10 or 15 minutes. For the day I worked about 10 hours at the office, 2 hours at home.

Tuesday was very productive, and I completed many tasks for work. Updating software, redesigning forms, writing work instructions, follow-up on marketing issues, etc. Many of these things were started on Monday and completed on Tuesday. This is my personal coaching day! I worked about 9-1/2 hours today.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 3
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:54:00 -0500

Wednesday I spent doing research. Looking for answers and not finding any. My tasks were related to starting new projects and defining directions. Not very productive, but essential to the health of the company in the future. I wish that I was able to get more information, but time did not permit it. Too many interruptions. For the day I worked 8 hours, I have a Pistons game tonight.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 4
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:45:00 -0500

Since the prior day did not show any successes, Thursday should have. But only in limited amounts. I continued on those tasks left over from Wednesday, and ended the day understanding that there was not enough information to pursue these projects at this time. Much time spent for no good answers. But that happens and I move on. I do get a major software installation completed for Y2K readiness. For the day I work about 9 hours at the office, and 2 hours at home.

On Friday, new items show up on my tasklist. These are those items I need to complete to clear off my desk for the weekend. (I hate leaving the office on Friday with piles of work sitting around. If it sits, then it must have a reason to be there... like I'm waiting on outside factors that will take time to complete. Therefore my desk will remain clean.) I added a couple of items that start new projects. Like a review of our telephone card charges and cell phone charges. Things that will not be completed in one day. Again, I get many interruptions, but I do accomplish a pseudo-review of things that should be tracked. I worked 8 hours at the office and then off to a Pistons game.

Finally on Saturday, I awake with a horrible cold and must stay home. I had been planning on going into the office, but instead I dial in and complete two large tasks from the current week. I feel good about what I've gotten done and after working for a few hours, it's time to take a nap! ;-)

11/23/1999 3:07 PM
- Maybe I need to get into a mode where the unexpected is expected to require time. Plan for the unexpected by knowing time needs to be allocated to fight the fires. Organize and reorganize, don't do things in a step-by-step fashion if you know that the unexpected is beyond your control.
- Stay out of crisis mode by knowing a crisis will happen... plan a buffer for the crisis
- Pay attention to putting first things first
- The foundation is built and time to jump back into the curriculum
- Discussion here turns to what Habit 2 means to me... and my personal creedo of 95% planning/10% execution.
- Here is where the challenge of being a leader or a follower is defined. Need to explore why.
- Start by reviewing the booklet on pages 25-29, or in the book starting on page 144

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 5
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:46:00 -0500

This week the discussion centers around why I am spending so much effort in
time management. We talked about why I'm not planning for the daily crisis.
And I really don't know, other than to say that I've never done it. So we
examine my planning habits and I decide that maybe I should load my day with
an hour or two set aside for crisis managment... Plan a buffer into the day
for the unknown events.

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind.

The discussion that I should plan my individual days with the understanding
that a few hours will be taken by crisis control forces me to evaluate my
days a bit differently. I need to begin planning the days with a buffer for
crisis control. So, if I put first things first, then the crisis must come
first. A horrible thought but all too true for my situation.

Unfortunately I have a personal creedo that goes against this line of
thought. And, this has created an opposing force with my time management. I
work each day with an understanding that I will make the most of my time by
allocating 90% of my effort to planning and 10% to execution. But when the
crisis appears, I have no plan. (As Homer Simpson says... DOHT!)

Ok, so I'm faced with a situation where I cannot plan for the crisis. So I
need to begin setting aside time for the management of an "unknown event",
each day. This goes against my natural tendancies of making sure I am
prepared, and I have been fighting it for years now. So where do I draw the
line? I look at the events and make a determination of whether the event
drives me or I drive the event. Here is where leaders are born... I have,
now, set aside time to take control of the crisis and drive it to a
solution. Instead of it driving me into submission, and allowing it to drive
my day. Mind you I have never really allowed that to happen, but with how I
schedule my day, I was creating a scenario where I didn't have time to
address the issue. Now I will take control, and have the time to be more
effective with my management and leadership.

I was asked to take a look at the 7-Habits book on page 144 to understand my
roles and influence. Since I found that to be a little repetitive for my
situation, I moved on to the workbook. There I was asked several
questions...

What will your life look like in 5 years? 10 Years? 20 years?
What will people say about me when I'm gone?
What does the future hold for me?

In 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years I wish to find that my current mission
statement still stands on principal. However changes as I change those
things that I want to change. So that my weaknesses become strengths. And
when I'm gone, I want them to say that I had a positive impact.

My Mission Statement: Lead a life centered around the principals of
integrity, excellence, service and trustworthiness. Humble myself by
acknowledging that I can be intolerant, selfish, and prideful. Strive to be
compassionate, ambitions, dependable, patient, priciple-centered,
respectful, loyal and responsible. And to transform my weaknesses into
strengths.

Examine the table on pages 119-121 of 7-Habits, and list those areas where
you are centered... and why.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 5
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:54:00 -0500

Security: I find that I don't like any of the choices here, so I will choose
"Self-Centered". And the reason why is because for every role that I have,
some aspect of the other choices could play as part of who I am. As an
example, there are times when I might define myself by my occupational role
(Work Centered). Or, when anything that may impinge upon the relationship
with my wife (Spouse Centered). So I will remain Self-Centered because I
evalutate myself every day, and change priorities every day.

Guidance: There are three priorities here, and it's quite simple... Spouse,
Work, Self. If my wife is happy, if my boss is happy, then I am happy.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

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Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 6
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:47:00 -0500

Wisdom: Balance... no exceptions, I use all input I can get. In theory I can
put Habit 5 into effect (Seek first to understand...) and get the
information I need to make effective decisions. So I don't discrimate here.
But this is my challange. I tend to cut to the quick and forget to pay
attention. But it's part of the challange not to be "intolerant". So, in
practice I really put out the challenge to make sure I don't forget.

Power: Self-Centered. Easy. I find that my power is from everything I take
responsibility for. I take responsibility for my actions, my knowledge, and
my integrity. In my opinion, your power can be influenced by many factors,
but in the end you should always take responsibility and the power will be
self evident.

11/30/1999 5:30 PM
- Need to track victories closer
- Multiple levels of preparedness/proactiveness (Define the relationship between these)
- Improving communication with preparedness
- Why did "principal-center" not get included in this definition?
- See page 124 for principal center
- Review the notes and comment on the principle centered definition
- Moving into Habit 3, review the book and review assignments on 33-35 in Mastery
- Understand the paradigms and determine where we need to go

12/6/1999 8:20 AM
Things I've learned in the past week include a little self-gratification. no it's not what you're thinking. Every once in a while I need to stop and enjoy the victories. My natural tendency is to complete a task or project and move on to the next item on the agenda without appreciating what it took to win or be successful. When I am working with others, I tend to get caught up in the day-to-day management and will not be as proactive as I should be. Additionally I don't sharpen the saw as I should either. With this focus there are many opportunities, of commending others on their success, which I miss.

Some discussion between my coach and myself has really opened a new subject for us to explore. In our discussions of Habit 2 (Begin with the end in mind) I continually infused the discussion with Habit 1 (Be proactive) and a new principal. Preparedness. I live my life trying to be prepared for as much as possible by continually planning and reviewing. It's the never-ending cycle that will have as much payback as you can conceive. So we bridge a gap in communication by being prepared to address issues head-on. This is a personality trait, or principal, that has created much strife for me. Many of my peers do not find preparedness to be necessary and I struggle with my interaction with them. So I begin to be more prepared, more proactive, to address a new level of interaction.

I see two very distinct levels of preparedness. At one level I recognize that I need to plan for an event. If I aim to be proactive and do the planning, I have succeeded. However that is not where I stop. The next level is action. Separate from being prepared, and planning, is the action of accomplishing the task at hand. Ninety-percent planning, and ten-percent execution. If I am doing this properly, all the planning (preparing) will require minimal effort to execute. Hence my credo, and the definition of a principal within my life.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 6
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:55:00 -0500

And so we come to last week's lesson to review the assignment of identifying my center. Jesse, my coach, directed me to the book to review the definitions of what the center could be. After reading these pages I came to the conclusion that none of what is defined really fit very well. In fact, I had a very difficult time putting together a definition. I tended to embellish the definitions and infused my own principals without knowing it. The result was a Principal Centered definition. without trying. Trust your convictions and take advantage of them. So, with that thought I change my mission statement to include the principal of creativity.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 7
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:47:00 -0500

Habit 3 - Put first things first.

How do I spend my time? Well, I've done a breakdown of how I typically spend my time in a previous week. With this I can break down the activities into the quadrants. For this past week, here is how it scores.

QI: 9
QII: 15
QIII: 2
QIV: 4

So I see that most of my time is in QII, where it should be. What I learned is that more than 80% of my QI time is due to others influencing my planning and tasks. And that at least half of my QIV time is from the same.

I believe that my focus is correct, but this exercise just reinforces the understanding that I need to plan for a certain level of crisis management during my days. Where possible I should be working with these other individuals so that the crisis can be headed off, or managed by others via empowerment.

When I look at how I manage my week, I can see some clearly defined roles.

Consultant: Intelligent, informed, integral, proactive and loyal.
Companion: Compassionate, thoughtful, dependable, patient and loyal.
Facilitator: Fair and acts with integrity.
Manager: Fair and acts with integrity.
Volunteer: Principals of integrity, excellence, service, trustworthiness and loyalty.

Working through the assignment, I am asked these questions to help define a mission statement;

- What would you really like to be and do in your life?
- What do you feel are your greatest strengths?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- Who is the one person that has made the greatest positive impact in your life?
- What have been you happiest moments in life?
- If you had unlimited time and resources, what would you do?
- What are the three for four most important things to you?
- How can you best contribute to the world?

I would really like to be the best leader I can be. Blazing new ground or creating a success. I believe that my convictions are among my greatest assets, along with my skills, knowledge and integrity. If I was to be remembered, it should be for my integrity. Some of the best moments I recall are those when others were successful because of my involvement. If given the opportunity, I would like to help make a venture reach the peak of success. as part of a small team of leaders (or as the sole leader). What is my best contribution to the world?. With no small trepidation, I stand on my intelligence.

My new mission statement:

Lead a life centered around the principals of integrity, excellence, service and trustworthiness. Humble myself by acknowledging that I can be intolerant, selfish, and prideful. Strive to be compassionate, ambitions, dependable, patient, principle-centered, respectful, loyal, responsible and creative. And to transform my weaknesses into strengths.

12/7/1999 5:19 PM
- Habit 3: The clock versus the Compass! Why do I put the clock before the compass?
- What am I missing to bridge the gap?
- Are the little things being lost in the larger tasks or goals?
- Create more approachable tasks (smaller chunks) to help eliminate frustrations.
- Need to be more accountable to self and realize that the public victory is not always priority (too much ego?)
- Public victories can be ego driven... and adversly impact the private victory
- Planning victory is here!
- Time to work on the interdependence Paradigms by working with the emotional bank account... Read "Public Victory" and see pages 14-16 in the workbook.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 8
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:48:00 -0500

This week was an especially trying one. Time was quite limited for the personal items. As is always the cast for the holidays, much of my personal time is dedicated to holiday tasks. Such as decorating, creating and mailing greetings, visiting with family, and friends, shopping, etc. Since I am naturally a Grinch, this time of the year only serves to frustrate me more. Mostly because of the time and attention it requires. I suppose that I should slow down and take stock, as well as appreciate everything, but time does not permit. Maybe next year I can concentrate on being more pleasant around the holidays.

But, on to the other stuff... No victories this week. Why? Because of the holidays. I'm not a very pleasant person this time of year and with a short fuse, my public persona tends to create conflict. It makes for a very tiring day. Funny thing that this week was to focus on the Public and Private Victories. As well as the Emotional Bank Account... Of which, I am overdrawn this week.

Among the items to examine this week was the question of why I place the clock before the compass. Interesting thing, this question. It implies that I always place focus on the here-and-now, versus planning for the future. Which contradicts my credo. So the question remains... why? Well I do it because it takes less effort. I can fight the fires, fix the flat, improve performance, etc. without the kind of effort it takes to prepare for the future. I need to sit down and determine where I want to go, and how I'm going to get there. This will take some time because it means that I need to balance the compass with the clock. Something new to learn.

Another reason why this kind of victory does not take priority is because the Public Victory tends to get the attention first. Maybe not through any purposeful means, but certainly it takes priority over the Private Victory. The only issue here is whether this is driven by ego or not... I believe the Public Victories are egocentric and ego-driven, where the Private Victories are not. The egocentric Public Victory can adversely impact the Private Victory. Personally, I don't think I'm driven by ego... just a desire to succeed. Unfortunately, success breeds ego.

So I come full circle to the Paradigms of Interdependence. Where we discuss how well I do with interactions with others and the Emotional Bank Account. Well, you should be able to tell that I am not doing well... considering my feelings on the holidays and the time constraints I have. Maybe it's just a tainted vision, and here is where I am the weakest. But I do see the light.
Last week I was watching a report on 20/20 (ABC) where they interviewed a man considered to be one of the most intelligent people in the country. He tested somewhere in the 180+ range, with his IQ. Funny thing, I was not impressed with him. The interviewer asked him a very simple question... "It is often the case that intelligent people with an IQ 30 points, or more, higher than normal will have problems communicating to others. Do you find this to be true?"... His answer was an unqualified "yes". And I felt that his answer insulted me. You see, I do fancy that I am an intelligent person, but I make a concerted effort to effectively communicate with others. So I just wanted to ask this man, "...why don't you?" I feel if I'm intelligent enough to speak ABOVE the level of comprehension with a person, then I can make the effort to speak AT the level for them to comprehend. It's my responsibility to communicate effectively. I got the feeling his ego has taken over at this point... a lesson that is not lost on me.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 8
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:55:00 -0500

This brings me to the concluding issue. I was to select three people and evaluate the balance of my Emotional Bank Account with each of these three people. Noting whether I was overdrawn or had a positive balance. I will be evaluating three relationships; Father, Wife, Boss. My problem with this is that I am very critical of myself, and tend not to give a very positive or objective viewpoint at first glance.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 9
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:49:00 -0500

Father: Overdrawn
Deposits: Sharing of business knowledge. My father is trying to start a new company, and I have been giving him some guidance. However...
Withdrawals: ...too little too late. He needed my help much sooner. There is a major ego clash here, and I am very critical of his every decision in his public and private lives. It is my curse to be overly critical.

Wife: Overdrawn
Deposits: Christmas is a time of great stress for me. I am doing everything I can to minimize the impact on her. She sees this as a major step for me.
Withdrawals: Christmas, attitude, patience (lack of), work-a-holic.

Boss: Positive balance
Deposits: Sales are up, people are happy, people are productive, and I show up and work everyday.
Withdrawals: The little things that tend to be a nuisance, versus problems.

But as I stated to my coach when we began this section, it would take a couple of weeks to complete. Not because I cannot learn to change, but because I recognize my abundance of shortcomings. I'm too impatient, and this type of change tends to take some time. Time that I keep telling myself that I do not have. So next week I will expand on the status of the Emotional Bank Accounts, and see if I cannot make time.

12/14/1999 5:31 PM
- The pure lack of want to deal with the holidays makes for a perfect opportunity to exercise Habit 1... Be proactive
- Am I doing all that I can to promote open and honest relationships?
- Set aside the frustration and address issues directly.
- Stop reacting to the circumstances and be proactive to the needs. Get control.
- Enlarge the gap between stimulus and response.
- Exercise independant will.
- Change the habit of stimulus and response!

What a difference a week makes.

I started this past week with a resignation to the fact that I needed the distraction of the Holidays to help me prioritize what is important. You know how that works... remember those 3D pictures that you would stare at for hours on end, just to see an image jump out at you? Sometimes you had to move your focus from the surface, to some other item that may have been out beyond what you were trying to see. Well, that's how I felt. I started to rededicate my focus to the more important things and stop letting the other stuff drive me to distraction.

It actually allowed me to take a very significant, but private, victory. And in retrospect, I believe that it could actually be more public than I originally thought.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 10
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:50:00 -0500

I recently have been struggling with the relationship I have had with a specific group within my organization. I've done everything I could possibly think of to promote teamwork, self-satisfaction, self-improvement, interaction, communication, and pride. But, my efforts have been largely thwarted by a single individual. This person is quite controlling, and very reluctant to relinquish control of an ever-growing set of responsibilities. While I try to spread the responsibility around, this person believes that no-one else is competent enough to do what she does. Subsequently she tends to horde responsibility and has become a bottle-neck within the organization.

Now I've taken the time to speak with her about setting goals, and reaching a target, and helping to train others, but to no avail. She says all the right things, but when the time comes no hand-off occurs. So last week, with my patience thin, I addressed this issue directly. What I realized was that some individuals will not respond to positive reinforcement, cooperation, teamwork, or win-win solutions. I just laid it out on the line and made it clear that there would be no more of this behavior tolerated. This person didn't care for my approach, but I also discussed how fair I have been in the past when dealing with this. And I asked, "...was there another way I could have gotten your attention?" The answer was not there. And we agreed that I did all I could. A victory, and a large weight lifted from my shoulders. Now I move on to the more positive things... like growing the organization. Back to Habit 1.

After a discussion with my coach, I was asked if I am doing all that I can to promote open and honest relationships. Obviously my answer was no, and I took these things to a new level of commitment to address the issues directly. I took control where I seemed to have none and affected change. As we review these issues I find that it truly was important to widen the gap between stimulus and response. Keeping my distance from being reactionary, and more true to Habit 5. Unfortunately, I resigned myself to focusing on the first 4 Habits and forgot about the importance of understanding and synergizing.

Ok, so I revisit the same three people this week to see how I've done with the Emotional Bank account...

Father: Balanced
Deposits: Sharing of business knowledge. This week I helped him to complete the finishing touches on his booth that will be showing his product at the CES this coming January. I will also be helping to complete his product literature.
Withdrawals: Lots of work, not enough time to get it all done.

Wife: Balanced
Deposits: We had a significant commitment of time this past weekend with Holiday parties and a wedding. We took time to visit with friends and family. And had a wonderful weekend. Long overdue.
Withdrawals: Not much got done around the house... but who cares.

Boss: Positive balance
Deposits: A big weight has been lifted from his shoulders by a project he asked me to finish for him. And he has given me another large project to work on.
Withdrawals: No change here.

12/21/1999 5:41 PM
- Being more proactive
- Being more assertive and firm are good tools to use... Think win-win when exercizing these tools
- Balance "courage & consideration", think outside of the comfort zone to experience progress
- Consistancy to commitment... let it feed all parts of your life
- Big Private victory with working on the emotional bank account
- Start Habit 4; Workbook pages 38-43; Tape 5 side A; Tape 3 side B

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 12
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:50:00 -0500

1/4/2000 5:30 PM

- Watch out to avoid WIN... versus Win-Win
- Stay away from addressing the 'symptoms'
- Address ownership, committment, etc.
- Work with the different 'levels of empowerment' (Review these items)
- Leaders motovate
- Releasing responsibility does not mean abandonment
- Read Principal Centered Leadership/Chapter 18
- Review Blaine Lee's book and this subject

This past week we departed from the curriculum.

Working through Habit 4 (Think Win-Win) I found myself at the crossroads of management. Not life or time management, but people and resource management. In fact this is the point I've been waiting to reach since the coaching started. Over the past few weeks I've seen many improvements in my daily habits and interactions with everyone I deal with. From my wife, my boss, the supervisors that report to me, to my parents. There are times when the changes startle me and make me think about the reasons why I always struggled with these interpersonal relationships before. A victory in the truest sense.

So we reach the crossroads and I am faced with an opportunity to work at empowerment. Habit 4 and empowerment are so closely tied together, that (I believe) one cannot happen without the other. Most especially if you are a supervisor, manager, director, president, or leader. And it's truly the mark of an exceptional leader who knows how to manage. And it's possible that the same can be said about an exceptional manager who knows how to lead. It is exactly this paradigm that piqued my interest in exploring empowerment. My management style has always been one of keeping everyone involved and informed. I do not like sitting in my office, making decisions about the direction of the company, without discussing the implications and effects of my actions. Why?... Because everyone else must live with my decisions, and if they don't like my decisions; they won't like me. That is the first sign of an ineffective manager. Communication must never break down.

Ok, so as part of this exploration, I took some time to review (re-read) some of my favorite writings. And I was pleasantly surprised to be reminded that many of my own personal principles are infused into these books. Listed here are words to live by. Really, just a list of words, from Blaine Lee's book.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 13
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:51:00 -0500

Being principle-centered, this is what we do:

Persuade
Be patient
Be gentle
Teach
Accept
Be kind
Love
Learn
Discipline
Be consistent
Live with integrity

These are the results:

Partnerships
Mutual transformation
Synergy
Calculated risks
Increased capacity
Positive, internal control
Self-control
Ethical behavior
Satisfying interdependent relationships
Proactivity
Trust
Win-Win solutions

As part of this review, I was asked to list tasks and evaluate the level of empowerment. (There are 6 levels: 1-Wait until told; 2-Ask for instructions; 3-Bring recommendations; 4-Do it and report immediately; 5-Do it and report routinely; 6-Do it.) I've listed some tasks I have given out, and tasks I've gotten to see what level of empowerment is associated to the work.

Major customer - Large order follow up; Self (6)
Accounting Year End processing; Others (5, but should have been 4)
Create meeting agendas; Self (6)
Business expansion proposition; Self (6)
Business procedure documentation; Others (5)

1/11/2000 5:33 PM
- Review the list of words to see how they can be incorporated into the mission statement
- "So what now?" "Where do we go?"
- I've never worked with habits 6 & 7... why?
- How do we balance giving and contributing? Creating Synergy... balance.
- Balance P/PC (Production/Production Capability)
- What do I commit to, and what will make the experience optimal? Start with the Mission Statment.
- "Who are you?"... for the Mission Statement
- Also, expand on the revellations as they apply to Habit 6; Pages 51-55

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 11
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:52:00 -0500

The holidays are over (I have survived) and the time for work has returned. However, with all the Y2K issues I've been pretty busy all along. With that in mind, I was unable to find time to listen to the Seven Habits Tapes as I should have. Fortunately, I did have time to re-read the entire chapter in the book.

Some of the items we discussed during the last session was how being proactive can infuse a Win-Win situation. Being assertive and firm work hand in hand with courage and character (integrity) to drive Habit 4. This is what I see as the key to keeping the other habits fed, and the prerequisite for a good manager. One of my major goals. Not to rehash the book, but I am often finding myself working outside of my comfort zone these days. In fact that will be listed as my Private Victory this time around... Many times I am working on solutions that are proactive, create Win-Win situations, and are very much outside my comfort zone. I am finding that I thrive on the challanges.

"American culture is built on the idea that independence is the pinnacle of personal development, yet interdependence is a much more effective way to operate... Consider and instance of independence and it's impact. How would the situation change if you acted differently?"

I normally do not like this time of year. It places many demands on my time and my talents. Both personally and professionally. So I dread having to deal with the holidays. From Thanksgiving until just after the New Year I find myself committing time to everything (and everyone) outside of my household. It becomes ever so frustrating. So, year after year I am a "Grinch without a cause". I find myself being put-out by the intrusions on my time, and the people who suck the life outta me. But, this year I took a different approach.

This year was unique, in that it was an especially stressful time for our family. We had a couple of major events recently that played out during the holiday season. Even with the outside pressures of these events, and being compounded with the holidays, I resigned myself to one simple change in the paradigm... "Enjoy the down-time". Something I don't do often enough. And what I found was that as I proceeded to take stock and enjoy the company of others, the Emotional Bank Accounts were being filled... for everyone. Win-Win.

"Think about a situation you have been struggling to resolve. Describe the situation, then put yourself in the other person's position and describe the situation from their point of view. Outline a solution that could satisfy everyone. Does this come easily to you?"

My viewpoint: I have an entire department that does not seem to grasp the importance of an aspect of their job. Over time I have been trying to teach them how to use software to help address these issues. The overall expectation is that they can be more effective, accurate, and proactive by using the software. This is a benefit to the company, as well as this group. It will allow them to eliminate unnecessary communication with people looking for stock or material.

Their viewpoint: It takes too much time.

Solution: Firmness. I outlined goals for each individual and for the department as a whole. I set the expectations. With this, I am also working on making additional resources available to help remedy the issue of time and help improve effeciency. Win-Win.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 11
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:52:00 -0500

Did it come easily?... Well the question begs to be broken down into two pieces. It was easy for me to come up with a solution that was logical and feasible. However, it was quite another to implement it. I tried to sell the solution and got nobody to buy in. Funny that they all agreed that it was a good solution and one that should work well to give immediate payback, but nobody helped to get it done. This is where I was forced to step outside of my comfort zone, and be firm about implementing this solution. "Get it done. Avoid the fallout if not." Something I do not usually do with anyone. Hence my victory for the week.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 14
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:56:00 -0500

Completed the new mission statement. And I believe that it is now closer to what it should be, more than any Mission Statement I've had before.

Lead with integrity...
LEAD a life centered around the principals of integrity, excellence, service, patience and acceptance.
HUMBLE myself by acknowledging that I can be impatient, intolerant and selfish.
STRIVE to accomplish and educate, while being principle-centered, dependable, respectful, loyal and creative.
TRANSFORM weakness into strength.

Over time I've molded this statement, and it's been through many tests. What I found was that it reflected a goal or set of goals, but wasn't really a reflection of me. After this last couple of weeks, I've come to realize that my goals were quite tangible and much more real than I had originally thought. Almost like therapy, I've gotten to know much more about who I am. And incorporated this into the Mission Statement. It is now a reflection of a few items... "Who am I?", "Who do I want to be?", "Where am I going?"

And, oddly enough, it helps complete a circle of influence... over myself. Is that too selfish?

Synergizing...

It is said that there is a big distinction between tolerance and celebration. Are there people in my life with which I could be synergizing with, rather than just tolerating? Sure. I suppose I should ask myself, can I synergize or celebrate these people instead of just tolerating them? I find myself in a situation where I'm not sure how to approach the issue.

On one hand these are people with whom I've tried to integrate and synergize, yet they are reluctant to allow this to happen. At what point do I have affect change, and gain (regain) control of the relationship? Or, is the simple act of initiative enough to synergize? I don't really need control over them, but an understanding of a different level of tolerance? More to the point, no matter how gruff, intolerant, impolite, or difficult these people can be, I should just rise above it all. This is a big struggle for me. This is where my selfishness and intolerance create a barrier. How do I rise above it?

1/19/2000 10:28 AM
- When your back is against the wall... do not forget to "Seek to understand"
- Fight for clarity... don't worry about the agenda and work for Win-Win
- Does the first 5 habits being practiced, always lead to synergy?
- Synergy = Teamwork and communication
- Root/Route/Fruit (Habits 4/5/6)
- Habit 6 is hard to isolate because it needs habits 4&5
- Remember that you do not have all the answers and get additional perspective to drive Synergy
- Look at G.R. for the growth (fruit) and the work to get there (route)
- Look at recv and determine how to get to Win-Win
- Think Win-Win at all costs! (Set pride aside)

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 15
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:57:00 -0500

1/23/2000 2:24 PM
Over time even the most inspired young lion tends to slow down. Age catches up with each and everyone of us and takes it's toll in different ways. There is certainly a difference in the meaning of tolerance from when you are 20, versus 30, 40 or older. I see it now with people like my sister, my brother, my mother, my father, my wife, my friends, my colleagues. I find conserving my energy for more productive, meaningful relationships. And positivity is the rule of thumb. That's got to be attributed to experience and age. I can remember a time, not too long ago, that I enjoyed and reveled in conflict and confrontation. It was a challenge to try and win at all costs. Sometimes at the expense of the relationship.

Today the relationships carry a value so much greater than the victory, and it's not so important to win. But I will never be the kind of person to acquiesce. It's just not in my personality. So the struggle for me is quite difficult to avoid the circumstance where I am challenged and allow old habits to intrude. Forget the battle and focus on the war... It's not just a means to an end, it's the end result that counts... Don't miss the forest for the trees. And what I should be saying is... Be mindful of the soldiers and who helped win the battle... Give attention to how the job gets done... Care for the trees, because without them there is no forest.

So I find myself in a situation where my employer is stating that there is a business issue that needs to be dealt with. I am the person chosen to address the problem and create the solution. However, I am being told what the solution is and how to implement it. I don't agree with the "what" and the "how" but the defined need is right on. So what do I do?... Seek first to understand. It becomes an issue of resource. What will it take to get the job done properly? More attention and more resources. The solution is there and we all agree that it is right. But it's not so clear as to how we arrive at the solution. So I work with the people involved to implement the solution, but not in the way my employer expected. What's the end result? Of course there is a victory, the solution worked, but my employer doesn't like how it got done. Yet, they want to know it was done properly. So what am I faced with? Leaving my agenda at the door, and make sure there is an understanding that the result will benefit everyone; Win-Win. But the path to the end is a precarious one. I must remind myself that people are involved and the same people are needed to win this battle. Mind the soldiers. I need to constantly remind myself of the habits that lead to Synergy... Think Win-Win; Seek first to understand. And finally synergy comes from cooperation, teamwork, and communication. Then I must sell my employer on my plan. An agreement must be met to arrive at Win-Win.

In order for this to happen, I must set my pride aside (I do) at the expense of better judgment. And I'll bet that get's your attention. Better judgment is my term for logic. Logic tells me that my approach to the opportunity is the most effective. Yet my employer insists that another way is best. Pride aside, logic must lead and guide. And do not forget to solicit input from others. Keep the team involved with the struggle to reach the goal. Avoid Seagull management. These are the thoughts that circle my mind. Then we reach the point of execution, and I am left standing alone to implement.

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make though decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles... they don't flock, you find them one at a time."

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 16
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:57:00 -0500

1/25/2000 5:37 PM

- Patience is a virtue and don't assume that the job gets done without you
- Be thoughtful about diligence
- See the Mastery book 56-58, complete excercizes and reading

"Be thoughtful about diligence"

1. Earnest and persistent application to an undertaking; steady effort; assiduity (unflagging effort).
2. Attentive care; heedfulness (Paying close attention; mindful).

The essence of Habit 7 for me is the constant reminder of what it took to get there. When I look back at an event and account for all the effort put forth for success, I realize just how much work went into that victory. And I realize what is needed to improve, or recharge.

It's not all about getting better sometimes. Although that is the key factor in how I see Habit 7 on the whole, the most important factor for me is the moment when I review the results and try to understand how to recharge the batteries. There are always opportunities to improve, however there are not always opportunities to invest into the health of me. So I don't.

My tendencies are to overlook my own needs and move on to the needs of others, or the company, or whatever. So Habit 7 never became a prevalent item in the cycle of events. And it seems as if this issue has become a key point in my progress of late. Prior to the Coaching, I never really took time to "Sharpen the Saw" and my efforts showed it. I was spinning my wheels, and getting nowhere fast. During this process, I stopped just long enough to recognize what I needed to do to improve myself and become more efficient and effective. Amazing how that works. But sometimes you really need to step away from the problem to see the solution. So I need to think about being diligent in my effort to review the events, the efforts, and the self.

I'm going to take the time to finish the assignment. An evaluation of what I do with Habit 7. And I know, before starting, how short my efforts will be. But I realize that a little effort here goes a long way towards improvement…

Spiritual (What I do now):
- For me Golf is a religion of sorts. And I cherish my time working on improving my game and practicing. It's very much like meditation. All my effort and energy to into the work of improvement… it's always a good lesson to remind myself what it takes to get better at something.

Spiritual (How to improve):
- I really need to work on my focus. I need to practice better, and I need to be diligent about practicing. It truly is a place where I can recharge my batteries.

Mental (What I do now):
- Funny thing, but I really like to take time at home and work with my clients. I do consulting on the side, and the work I do with my clients to help them with their business needs, really helps me to stay sharp. It challenges me in an extreme sense. When I reach the end of my rope during my normal job, the consulting forces me to pay attention to the details and keep focus.

Mental (How to improve):
- I would really like to understand and learn how to meditate. Purge thought and distraction. Maybe learn Tai Chi.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 17
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:58:00 -0500

Social/Emotional (What I do now):
- Not enough to make a difference. I feel as if this is my most needed area for attention.

Social/Emotional (How to improve):
- Funny I should think this, after all that I've struggled with… Increase my circle of influence.

Physical (What I do now):
- Nothing of consequence.

Physical (How to Improve):
- I need to convince myself this is necessary. Right now my priorities are somewhere else. And, nothing has convinced me that this needs to be a priority in my life at this time. Maybe Golf will convince me to make a change here. And getting in better shape will improve my game. Although I recently lost 35 pounds and feel pretty good, I know I can do better.

"What does the chapter called 'Inside-Out Again' mean to me?"

- It validates the embodiment of the diligence. The complete effort toward communication, teamwork, self-improvement, and private victories. For a very long time, my wife and I had some minor but difficult communication gaps. Like all couples we struggle with trying to understand each other's point of view. But over the last few weeks, I've really come into my own. I am not as demanding on the relationship as I used to be. I don't expect things to be in a certain way. They just "are", and that's good enough for me. When I feel the need to improve things, I discuss it with my wife and we will agree on how to go about doing this. It's a long cry from where I used to be… I could never admit trying to influence everything before, yet that's what I did. But now, I'm far more relaxed in my approach to interaction… less reaction to the stimulus, more thoughtful about being diligent.

"What changes do I wish to make in my life based on the experience in this program?"

Increase the sanity. A more centered and calmer existence.

2/1/2000 5:40 PM
- Balancing non-career oriented relationships with career oriented within the circle of influence
- Work on addressing the stimulus-response to create greater balance, more centered, and calmer existence
- Look at calesthenics charts and determine how to fit exercize into the schedule
- Subtle changes are a key to success
- Time to get into the Winslow... Pick the top 3 items to work on and familiarize with the data
- Look at what Winslow describes versus what I see versus where we want to go

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 18
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:59:00 -0500

I've done much analysis over the past weeks, and when it comes right down to it. change isn't as welcome or easy as it is wanted.

When first embarking on this project, I took the time to answer several
pages of questions designed to nail down a profile on my personality.

We have now come to a point where we are reviewing that profile to determine just what items I wish to work on for improvement. It's an odd thing to see all the changes over the past weeks and to know that parts of this profile may not apply anymore. But, on the whole it seems to be on solid ground identifying my personality traits.

I found myself at quite a loss here. This weeks assignment was to have me review the profile and choose three items that I wish to review and improve upon. Funny thing was that I found myself reading the profile and agreeing completely with the analysis of my behavior, but not really being sold on the suggestions for areas to improve upon. As an example, one item was Recognition (Score: 2 - Low Range). The profile stated that my reputation does not concern me and that acknowledgment of others is not important to me. This is true in the direct sense that I do not strive for it. But, I do take great pride in the hard work I do (and others do) in order to assure indirect forms of recognition. (Like, more responsibility.) So, do I really need to improve this area. I believe not.

So I took bits and pieces from several different areas that struck me as "areas of concern" and gathered my thoughts here.

Conscientiousness (Score: 10 - High Range)
"You are a person who places the wishes and welfare of others before your own personal interest and desires."
- I need not be too critical, judgmental, or demanding of others or myself. I can say without hesitation that I tend to be rigid and can create unrealistic expectations on myself, forgoing the sharpening of the saw.

Exhibition (Score: 9 - High Range)
"You have a strong desire to be the center of attention, and will usually go out of your way to have others notice you."
- One small item is that this may happen to create a scenario where
I am not open to feedback. I need to focus on comprehension and understanding before embarking upon expression.

Nurturance (Score: 2 - Low Range)
"You are usually insensitive to the emotional needs of others and are
reluctant to listen to their problems and to be supportive and helpful."
- Listen and be supportive. Simple solution. It's just not my nature
to accept this as a shortcoming in others. I have a bad tendency to project unrealistic expectations of independence upon other people.

Assertiveness (Score: 9 - High Range)
"You are a person who believes that being assertive and taking the offensive is essential to attaining success."
- Yes I am. I must not allow my ego to drive my desires. Because it will if I let it.

Self-Confidence (Score: 10 - High Range)
"You are a very confident individual who believes that you have the
knowledge and ability to be successful at whatever you attempt."
- I allow this to overcome my demeanor as arrogance, at times. I
need to use this skill to instill the same trait (self-confidence) in others when they are faced with a challenge.

Each and every one of these items, inadvertently, will improve my skills as a leader. I did not plan my choices that way, it just turned out that way. And I can say, without question, this is the single best reason for doing this analysis. It lets me know where, exactly, I can subtly improve as a leader.

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 19
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 06:59:00 -0500

2/8/2000 5:33 PM
- How do we define the milestones and measure the progress from the Winslow suggestions?
- It's an approach of lifelong growth
- Focus on Nurturance, and Asssertiveness
- Celebrate the differences among individuals and accept/validate/value them (empathy)
- Sympathy means that judgement has been effected
- Individuals are seeing that I can ask them to sacrifice the personal life outside of work
- Too much Sympathy or Empathy means that Win-Win may not be achievable (too much nurturance)
- Too much assertiveness and you force a Lose-Win situation
- Start getting into 7-habits profile and choose 3 things that need attention

This past week I've thought about how I address each of the items I wish to improve upon. And I've come to the conclusion that I need to not measure the progress, but live the changes. I do this mostly through the habit of sharpening the saw, and not through direct effort to change. Just be more attentive to those things I wish to improve, and live my life for the betterment, not the change.

In the beginning of this adventure, I answered many questions about how I've infused 7 habits into my daily life. These completed the 7 Habits profile. Now I turn my attention to the profile to see where I would like to improve. Only there is one concern… after completing these past weeks, I can tell that the original profile may not be an accurate reflection of where I am on this day. It might actually be interesting to have the profile done all over again.

My top three items, needing attention from my 7 Habits profile:

1) Win-Win Agreements – Across the board, I need to really take time to work with people to arrive at a place where all have a stake in the win.
2) Seek first to understand – Listen PATIENTLY
3) Synergize – Teamwork will only be achieved when others feel a win is possible

Funny how this all turns out… when this started I choose three items that were completely different than those listed here. They were communication, preparedness, and time management. What I've learned is that if I communicate effectively, and work towards synergy, I will have more time for my own responsibilities. So my priorities have shifted toward what others think I need to work on, versus what I thought I needed to work on.

I suppose that one paragraph sums up my entire experience with this program. And, how important it was for me to get here. It reset my expectations about how I needed to improve. Not about how I could help others to improve, by managing my time better… but to make me a better teammate for the cause.

2/15/2000 5:40 PM
- The Win-Win needs to be facilitated between the superior and the subordinate not between me and others
- Facilitator is much different than being a decision-maker
- Facilitator is more work than decision-maker
- Clarification of the responsibility
- How do I consciously make the paradigm work?
- Increase the listening quotient
- Daily reminders to make sure the paradigm is reviewed?
- What can we do to get these ingrained? (Call the Resource line for feedback: 800-333-1397)
- How will continuation happen? What is the next step after the scheduled coaching session is over?

Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Coaching... Part 20
From: Terry Oplinger, Jr. <trojhome@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 07:00:00 -0500

This is it! My last formal coaching session before I enter into the realm of freedom. And I use the word freedom because it seems as if I'm being turned loose on the world with a new found knowledge that few others have experienced. And so that brings me to my victories this week. And I have two... one public, one private.

First the public victory. I have found over time that there is a fine line between the politico and the effective manager. This past week the company that I work for was purchased by a larger corporation. On the whole this is a good thing, it means that our path for growth has been validated and we can focus on the day-to-day business of managing a growing company. However there was an opportunity to meet face-to-face with the new President of our group. Our management crew (4) met with this gentleman, and I personally was determined to practice Habit 5 for the entire evening. Well it turned into a victory when one of the other managers monopolized the conversation and did not seem to impress his importance upon our new owner. I learned much from that small but effective lesson. And it turned into a public victory when the others in the group quietly expressed their approval of my patience and tact. Two characteristics that have always escaped me.

The private victory came from a conversation with one of our employee's. He had created a preconceived notion of who I was and what I stood for... and it wasn't a very positive image. I met with him over dinner to discuss some career issues he was facing. It was a very productive and enlightening conversation for both of us. When it was all finished, he thanked me for making myself available to work with him. I knew in that one sentence that I had destroyed an enemy and made him a friend.

The entire week was fraught with havoc related to the sale of our company. For the past couple of months we have been working with our new owners to make sure all was in order for this transaction. It was a lot of work, and it all came to a head this past week. I was faced with a decision to be a facilitator of communication, or to reserve conversation to avoid confrontation. There were many worried employees. I choose the high road and make sure that anyone expressing concern gets an opportunity to have their fears addressed. More than anything I now become a facilitator. It is undeniably the most powerful thing any manager can do for their people. How do I make it work?... I need to live it. And that's exactly what I'm doing.

So I'm faced with how do I continue to make this work... Now I enter into the last phase of the coaching. Here is where I use the resource line to discuss this with other coaches. Coaches that I may have other ideas on how to incorporate some of these paradigms into my daily life. The challenge continues.

Finally I need to make a statement about the program to this point. In a discussion with my coach (Jesse), I learned that everyone turns the coaching program into what they want it to be. And I did just that. With his guidance, and leadership, I was able to turn this experience into a life-altering expansion of my mind. Not just because we were able to sharpen the skills around the 7 Habits, but because I needed to apply the 7 habits to my career. I needed to build skills that would allow me to be a more effective manager and leader. My focus, my desire, my needs, my career, all benefited from this program. And I will be eternally grateful to my coach for his patience, time, effort, skills, and understanding. I'm sure I was a very demanding student, but would any teacher want a student that didn't strive to learn? Thank you.
Terry Oplinger, Jr.
Planner: '88
Ascend: 4.0 thru '97 6.1c
FPS: 7.0 thru 7.3
OnTarget: 2.3
Palm: Since '96... 1000/5000/Pro, III, IIIx, IIIc (OS 3.5)

All posts copyrighted... learn more here.

========
Newsgroups: fcps.Coaching
Subject: Thanks Terry!
From: Coe CWCJr <cwcjunior@juno.com>
Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2000 07:07:00 -0500

While just one opinion among many, I hope this information was helpful...
Coe