by Correll & Gosden.

No. 30--ABCD (Special episode for Sunday beginning daylight saving time)

[As broadcast on April 29, 1928. Note: This is the second script numbered "No. 30."]

AMOS: Now, wait a minute----'fore we start callin' up dese people heah, let's figure out whut time it is.

ANDY: De trouble wid my watch is dat de thing is a hour slow.

AMOS: Well, and' de daylight savin' time make it a hour fast----so dat make it even don't it? Whut time is you got now?

ANDY: Recordin' to de watch heah, I got eight o'clock.

AMOS: You got 8 o'clock----but it's nine o'clock, ain't it?

ANDY: Wait a minute--it's ten o'clock. Yo' see my watch is a hour sloweh dan yo' watch is.

AMOS: I aint got no watch.

ANDY: Den dat makes it.

AMOS: Dat makes it whut?

ANDY: Wait a minute heah now----whut time is it?

AMOS: We is supposed to call dis man at nine o'clock tonight. His wife say dat he wouldn't be home till 9 o'clock.

ANDY: Well, yesterday when it was nine o'clock, my watch was eight o'clock an' I didn't change de time on it. Now today dey stahted dis daylight savin' bizness so dat make my watch two hours off.

AMOS: Well, den, it's ten o'clock den, aint it?

ANDY: We was supposed to call de man at nine o'clock.

AMOS: Den we is a hour late, aint we?

ANDY: Not if de man's watch is wrong, we aint.

AMOS: Dis heah's de biggest mess I done ever got in.

ANDY: Go ahead, call de man up.

AMOS: Mus' I call him up now?

ANDY: Tell him dese heah clocks done got us all mixed up.

AMOS: Whut is his number again?

ANDY: You got it on a piece o' papeh dere----I aint got it.

AMOS: Wait a minute----heah 'tis----Calumet 6570.

ANDY: Go ahead--call de man up.

AMOS: I gotta put a nickle in dis heah telephone fust, aint I?

ANDY: You got a nickle, aint yo'?

AMOS: Yeh, I got one.

ANDY: Now, wait a minute 'fore you call de man up. De man's name is Jarvis.

AMOS: Yeh, he's de man dat we bought de second hand automobile from.

ANDY: Now, whut yo' wanna do is to tell de man dat we id done re-ployed Sylvester to work on de automobile an' when Sylvester go oveh dere in de mornin' tell Mr. Jarvis to let him got to work on it.

AMOS: Mr. Jarvis knows Sylvester.

ANDY: Dat's right----so jus' tell him dat he's comin' oveh dere in de mornin' to work on de car.

AMOS: When I called Mr. Jarvis before today, his wife say dat I should call him again at 9 o'clock--he'd be back home, so I guess it's alright to go ahead an' call him now----don't yo' reckon so?

ANDY: When you is talkin' to him, ast him to tell yo' whut is de matteh wid de car so Sylvester will know whut to do when he gits oveh dere in de mornin'.

AMOS: Well, heah I go----dat number is Calumet 6570.

ANDY: Go ahead----put de nickle in dere.

AMOS: Well, heah it go------hello--hello--I want Calumet 6570----yesmam, dat's right.

ANDY: Tell Mr. Jarvis dat you is talking fo' me----let him know dat I is de president of de comp'ny an' I is right heah by de telephone.

AMOS: Wait a minute, wait a minute------Hello----is Mr. Jarvis home, please mam?--thank yo' mam.

ANDY: Who was dat?

AMOS: Dat was his wife, I guess----She say she'll git him on de telephone.

ANDY: Tell him Sylvester's comin' oveh dere now----find out whut's de matteh wid de thing so Sylvester kin fix it.

AMOS: Hello----hello, Mr. Jarvis?----dis heah's Amos----I say dis heah's Amos----

ANDY: Tell him I is de president.

AMOS: Dis heah's Amos----Andy is de president------I say-a----dis heah's Amos----don't yo' 'member----we is de ones dat bought dat second hand automobile from yo'------yessah, yessah, dat's right----we is de ones.

ANDY: Tell him dat I is standin' right heah.

AMOS: Andy is standin' right heah wid me----whut's dat?----wait a minute, wait a minute--hold de phone----(to Andy) He wants to know whut we want.

ANDY: Go ahead, tell him whut we want.

AMOS: (in phone) Hello Mr. Jarvis--dis heah's Amos again----

ANDY: Don't fo'git I is de president of de comp'ny.

AMOS: Don't fo'git about Andy--he is de president----whut's dat?----well, I tell yo'----you know Sylvester----Oh, you know him huh?--(to Andy) He says he knows him alright.

ANDY: But dat aint nuthin'----we knows he knows him.

AMOS: (phone) We knows dat-a------hello----hello----we knows dat you knows him----

ANDY: Tell him dat Sylvester's goin' work on de automobile.

AMOS: Hello Mr. Jarvis--whut I called yo' up about is-a----Sylvester's goin' work on de automobile.----I say-a----Sylvester is goin' start tomorrow an' he's goin' work on de automobile.

ANDY: Ast him whut mus' we git Sylvester to do.

AMOS: Hold de phone a minute, Mr. Jarvis----(to Andy) Ast him whut?

ANDY: Ast him whut must we git Sylvester to do when he stahts workin' on de car.

AMOS: We wanna git him to fix it, dont we?

ANDY: But ast Mr. Jarvis whut's de matteh wid de thing.

AMOS: (phone) Hello----hello Mr. Jarvis--dis heah's Amos again----whut mus' we git Sylvester to do when he starts workin' on it?----Do whut?----put overhalls on de car?----oh, overhaulde car----oh yeh------whut's dat?------wait a minute, wait a minute----

ANDY: Whut did he say, whut did he say?

AMOS: He said sumpin' 'bout de Gralves need Vindin'.

ANDY: Ast him again.

AMOS: Hello Mr. Jarvis--dis heah's Amos again----you say de Gralves need Vindin'?------oh, de--de--de----de whut now?----de vowels----da vowels huh?--De vowels need GRINDIN!.

ANDY: Wait a minute----tell him we aint goin' grind nuthin'.

AMOS: Hello Mr. Jarvis--dis heah's Amos again----Andy say we aint goin' grind nuthin'--whut's dat?----wait a minute, I'll tell him. (to Andy) He say you dont have to grind 'em 'less yo' wanna but dey needs grindin'.

ANDY: Ast him whut else is de matteh wid de thing.

AMOS: (phone) Hello Mr. Jarvis----dis heah's Amos----whut else do de car need done to it?----whut's dat?----tappet?------you say tap it?----

ANDY: Tap it wid whut?

AMOS: Tap it wid whut, Mr. Jarvis?------

ANDY: Dont tell HIM ev'vything I say.

AMOS: Wait a minute, Mr. Jarvis. (to Andy) Dont holler at me when I'se talkin' to him----lemme talk to de man a minute----he say tap it.

ANDY: You mean tap it wid a hammeh or sumpin'?

AMOS: (phone) Hello Mr. Jarvis----whut must we tap it wid?------Oh, de tappets, huh?----needs re-justin'----

ANDY: I don't b'lieve dat man knows whut IS wrong wid de thing.

AMOS: (phone) Whut's dat?----de crank shaft?------you say de crank shaft?----

ANDY: Let de crank go----we'll git a stahteh put on de car.

AMOS: Let de crank go.

ANDY: Tell him he kin keep de crank shaft.

AMOS: (phone) You kin keep de crank shaft.----Whut's dat?----I can't hear yo', Mr. Jarvis----

ANDY: You is gittin' dumbeh an' dumbeh.

AMOS: Hello----you is gittin' dumb----I mean----hello, Mr. Jarvis.

ANDY: Tell him dat Sylvester will be dere in de mornin'.

AMOS: Hello Mr. Jarvis--Andy say Sylvester will be dere in de mornin'----I say Andy say dat Sylvester will be dere in de mornin'----no, no, Sylvester----I say Sylvester----

ANDY: Dont holler so much----

AMOS: Don't holler so much----wait a minute--(to Andy) Shut up just a minute, will yo'----lemme talk to de man----

ANDY: You aint got de sense of a monkey.

AMOS: Hello Mr. Jarvis--you aint got de sense of a------wait a minute, wait a minute--dis heah's Amos----I say dis heah's Amos----I tell yo' Mr. Jarvis, I'll come over an' talk to yo'----I----

ANDY: Dat's de only way you'll git it in yo' head.

AMOS: Dat's de only way you'll git it in yo' head--wait a minute!--hello, hello!--hello------

[the end]